Four Traps That Prevent Plans From Coming True In The New Year

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

For many people, the New Year is not only a holiday, but also a symbolic milestone when we set goals for the year ahead, but in most cases these goals move from year to year, turning into something unattainable. Many people hope to improve their nutrition, go in for sports, change jobs, quit smoking and spend less time on social networks since the new year, often these are very simple goals, but the achievement of which each time recedes as the horizon.

Why are plans for the next year often not being fulfilled?

American psychotherapist Judith Beck talks about the cognitive traps that lead people to abandon their plans.

1) We set goals that suppress us

Considering that over the past years we have accumulated a whole galaxy of unfulfilled plans, we tend to set ambitious goals that can be frightening in their complexity. But this does not mean that we should abandon big goals. So that the grandeur of the goal does not scare away, you can break it down into small tasks, the implementation of which is easier and the achievement of which will motivate you to the next step every time, and so on until the entire plan is completed.

2) We can ignore potential obstacles and black swans

As we implement our plans, it is likely that we will face obstacles that block our path, these may be obstacles that we can foresee and that we cannot predict. If we remember that not everything depends on us, then when faced with obstacles we will be easier to endure, then that our plans could not be fully realized, or on time. Better hope for the best, but expect obstacles.

3) We can think on the principle of "all or nothing"

It is a natural human tendency to think all or nothing. "I'll get an A, or I'll lose." While many people believe these thoughts will motivate, they can actually be frustrating. If we get a B instead of being proud and continuing to work, we attack ourselves for being “not good enough” and give up trying to achieve more. To overcome this all-out-of-nothing mindset, it is helpful not to think of our resolutions as rigid goals that need to be achieved. Instead, think about a series of positive outcomes. If you are looking to lose weight, think about what might be the spectrum of success. You may end up wanting to lose 10 pounds. But you will also feel good if you lose 4 kilograms. Using this strategy, you will feel good about shedding your first 4 pounds, which will likely encourage you to keep on fulfilling your goal.

4) When we go astray, we scold ourselves

You decided to give up sweets, but for an instant forgetting of the reason, you ate a slice of chocolate cake. A moment later, you think, “Now I ruined everything! I'm such an idiot! I will never lose weight. And you take another piece of cake.

Aside from being unfair and overly harsh, such self-critical thinking is usually not a recipe for success. If we say about ourselves that we are incompetent, stupid or lack of willpower, then this is a shortcut to the conclusion that it is useless to try to do something. Judith Beck offers a simple piece of advice: Think about what you would say to a friend or loved one who made the same mistake as you. “Would I be just as harsh with this person?” “And is it possible that I hold to unrealistic standards?”.

New Year's plans are, of course, good if you have them, but they are not obliged to implement them in full, you need to remember about compassion for yourself, that we are not ideal and cannot realize everything at once, but there are always plots our life where we are able to change something, even if it is something small, while the border of this area will most likely increase and we will be able to improve our life step by step.

More details:

David B. Feldman “So You Set a New Year’s Resolution, Now What?.

Edwin A. Locke, Gary P. Latham "New Directions in Goal-Setting Theory"