Four Reasons Why An Outside Love Relationship Makes Sense

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

Research tells us that adultery is no longer the main reason for divorce. I do not want to either propagandize the love affair or condemn it. The fact of betrayal always tells us something about a person or about the relationship that exists in a couple and about the culture that exists in society. I want to talk with you about four reasons for a love affair that can be beneficial for a person

Marriage in the Dead Zone

Many people suffer in dead relationships that cannot be changed. Research shows that unhappy marriages - fighting, swearing, resentment, can do real damage to your physical and emotional health. Nevertheless, people continue to live in these relationships, accepting that the situation cannot be changed, fall (fall ill) into depression without hope for change.

Then, a love affair can be an attempt to recover. It reflects an unconscious or semi-conscious awareness of the desire to become more alive, to grow, to move on in life. Adultery creates the basis for new feelings, desires, this is a way for some, to restore vitality. In the end, a love affair can help you become fearless, "courageous" to find the strength to divorce. Moreover, this is the healthiest way. Cheating can create the preconditions for self-awareness and understanding, resulting in emotional honesty and mature behavior.

Several stories to illustrate.

The man felt hungry for intimacy and sex in his long-dead marriage. He thought that he and his wife loved each other, but they lived like roommates for many years, although each made an effort to revive the marriage. The man, as he chose one of the common methods of psychological protection, went entirely to work and made a successful career. Where he met a woman with whom he fell in love and realized that in a relationship there can be more emotional, spiritual and sexual connection. This prompted him to explain to his wife that he needed more, but without guilt or criticism. She admitted that they loved each other, but they wanted different things in life. They parted, remaining friends.

The woman and her husband underwent family psychotherapy and seminars to improve relationships and intimacy with her husband. He participated, but remained closed, inattentive and indifferent. She realized how much he devalued her in relationships, began to pay attention to other men and made friends with a colleague. In a new relationship, she began to feel attractive and alive. They soon had a romance. She felt guilty, but not for long, as her husband began to avoid her, due to the fact that she behaved differently - decisively and with faith in herself. Then the woman decided that the marriage should not be reanimated. She left her husband with no regrets and felt stronger than ever before.

The man, in a 25-year-old marriage, lived for many years without sexual intercourse with his wife. He suggested that she seek help from specialists, but his wife refused, explaining that everything is in order and in general he expects "too much" from the marriage. With difficulty enduring loneliness, he entered into a love relationship. In them, he understood that relationships can and should be different and mutual.

Abusive attitude

Unfortunately, this is most often encountered by women who are married to a partner who causes physical or emotional pain. Their psychological problems - unmet emotional needs, deep conflicts make them helpless, they cannot free themselves from their current relationship. They lack the courage, the strength to break, they have a learned helplessness. Most often, these women are burdened with financial problems and are busy raising children. They feel stuck in a hopeless relationship.

For some women, adultery gives strength to care. Even ephemeral attachment activates emotional forces to STOP an abusive attitude and adds determination to pursue a better life despite fear or material problems.

Disability of one of the spouses

Here we will consider a situation where one of the partners has become morally and / or physically incapacitated.

For example, a man had a blow, from which he can no longer recover. The woman takes care of him, runs the household, and continues her career. After about five years, she realized how much she lacked emotional and sexual intimacy. Unfortunately, such a relationship is no longer possible with a husband. She loved her husband, but she felt very lonely. Eventually, she started a relationship with another man. Her partner was a widower who understood her position and the contradictory feelings. She decided that a relationship with this man was the right decision for her. She again felt more alive, despite the fact that someone may condemn her choice.

Cheating gives a second wind to your marriage

The unexpected conclusion from the betrayal is that it allows you to restart the existing relationship. Sometimes a mutual decision - to try an independent life, creates intrigue, is a trigger in order to experience sexual attraction to your spouse. Even an underground affair has the same consequences.

For example, one of my clients in a similar relationship came to the realization that - “I want my wife and lover to be the same person,” he said. He decided to tackle his relationship problems with his wife and work to revive them. In another case, the woman realized that she wants to feel the same in a relationship with her husband as in a relationship with her lover.