The Four Meanings Of Sex

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

Sex is a magical act that can be the greatest pleasure in a person's life, but it can also bring the most intense suffering. It should include four aspects (apart from procreation). If at least one aspect falls out of it, the whole structure may sooner or later begin to collapse. The four meanings of sex are:

1. Satisfaction of hunger (satisfaction of the need);

2. Communication and intimacy (communication of partners at the physical and emotional level);

3. Pleasure and enjoyment;

4. Production of hormones of happiness (endorphins, dopamine, serotonin).

Many people give sex only one meaning - the satisfaction of a need (fell, did push-ups, ran on). These quick snacks do not lead to pleasure, nor to meaningful communication, nor to the development of "hormones of happiness." In pursuit of the result, they are content with only a reflex orgasm, mistakenly calling it sex and believing that it unites two people. But he gives the illusion of unity only for a moment, and then there is a huge separation, which leads to the feeling of a black hole of loneliness and emptiness … which everyone fills as best they can. Someone with work, alcohol and various addictions. Someone with porn films and constant betrayal in search of something new and sharp.

The main components of sexual relations that fill sex with meanings are tenderness, intimacy and aggressiveness.

Tenderness (the ability to give and receive tenderness in the form of words, gestures, touch, attention) is a basic quality without which sex is difficult to imagine.

Intimacy (the ability of one person to take care of another and share everything essential with him without fear of losing himself) includes trust, affective, bodily, intellectual and spiritual aspects.

Well, sex, of course, is impossible without healthy aggressiveness, which is needed for both men and women in order to express their desire and meet each other halfway.

All components of sexual relations are interconnected - tenderness and the ability to experience intimacy are fully revealed only when the couple begins to respect their aggressiveness. If there is no healthy aggressiveness, sex turns into either friendly communication (with a weak manifestation of aggression), or violence (if the aggression is too strong).

If there is no intimacy, emotional communication of partners is lost and it becomes impossible, holding hands, to enter the presence of another. Allow the presence of the other to enter into you and feel the mutual vibration - warm, safe, dear.

If there is no tenderness, pleasure and enjoyment from the magic of touches, kisses and words are lost.

These three components are the basis for sexual relations, but in order to fill them with bright colors of all meanings, you need time, an attentive attitude towards yourself and your partner and "irritants", preferably all the senses, which help to stay in the moment "here and now.": sound (pleasant music, whisper of a fire, birdsong, rustle of waves), taste (wine, fruit, cheese, chocolate on the lips), olfactory (smell of perfume, oils, incense sticks), visual (beautiful linen, lace stockings, shoes on stilettos, flowers, candles) and, especially, bodily (when you give each cell of your partner the utmost attention, making him feel alive: soaping in the shower; covering with kisses; "painting" from head to toe with oil or cream, giving each part of the body so much time, how much it needs … taking, feeling, being present).

Only such a leisurely dance of two bodies and souls, stopped in time, can leave behind a long aftertaste of pleasure and make each other's loneliness less painful and sharp.