"I Can't Fulfill My Potential!" Five Reasons Why This Is Difficult. Part Four

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

I can't fulfill my potential

Five reasons why this is difficult. Part 4

Reason # 4. Desire for "Great result at once" or

"Hunger for Love" and "Escape to Fantasy".

What I see in working with such clients. As a rule, they find it difficult to take small steps to achieve what they want. And not because they don't want to take action, no. This does not motivate them, and secondly, they do not know how or it is very difficult for them to move towards the "Grandiose" goal gradually. Therefore, in their eyes I see sadness, disappointment and at the same time hope that this "Grandiose" will come true someday.

Why is this happening? Why is it so difficult to take the path of small steps? Why is everything necessary at once? During psychological work, we find that in childhood the skill of applying the necessary efforts to obtain the desired result was not mastered. The child's wishes significantly exceeded his capabilities. But the realization of the desire was very necessary for the child to maintain his mental health. At the same time, the child did not have the necessary resources of his own and the necessary support from adults for the constructive realization of the desire, namely, the algorithm was not mastered: understanding the goal - analyzing his skills - teaching the necessary skills and abilities - making efforts - achieving the goal.

Let's take a closer look at this example, the child did not receive enough love and attention from the parents. And for him it was vital. He tried in various ways to attract attention to himself, but they either shouted at him for being too active, or did not notice him. And, for example, a child notices how his parents smile or admire another child who is successful at school or in drawing or something else. What happens next? The child will try to do something too, for example, show that he dances beautifully or can study well so that his parents are praised. But what will happen if this child does not know how to learn and there is no one to teach and support him? So he finds himself on his own with a problem and his vital task is to receive love from his parents, to see their joy. One of the possible development options in this situation is that the child decides to cheat, because he believes that only the status of an excellent student will provide him

• love,
• Adoption,
• admiration from parents, teachers, classmates, etc.

It turns out that a “grandiose” goal is set - learning to the highest mark, but instead of learning and mastering the skill of how to constructively and gradually move towards his goal, the child follows the path of least resistance, while distorting himself.

Accordingly, in adulthood, it is difficult for such a person to realize himself. Indeed, most often goals are set high, since only their implementation can quickly satisfy the hunger for love, acceptance, attention, admiration, etc.

There is no skill and understanding of how to constructively achieve what you want. Because such a person did not learn this in childhood. Small results are devalued, they cannot quickly fill the internal vacuum. Small results do not motivate, because they are not able to quickly give the feeling - "I shine in the rays of success, they admire me, I am great!"

Each of us has our own talent. Be considerate and patient with yourself. Don't put off your life until later. "Heal" your psychological blocks, trauma and pain. And the result will definitely be.

In the fifth part of the article, you can familiarize yourself with another important reason that hinders and complicates the realization of your potential.

You can read the first part of the article and reason # 1 that prevents you from realizing your potential at this link:pyat-prichin-pochemu-eto-slozhno-sdelat-chast-1 /

You can read the second part of the article and reason # 2 that prevents you from realizing your potential at this link:pyat-prichin-pochemu-eto-slozhno-sdelat-chast-vtoraya /

You can read the third part of the article and reason # 3 that prevents you from realizing your potential at this link:pyat-prichin-pochemu-eto-slozhno-sdelat-chast-tretya /

Psychologist Linda Papitchenko

The photo for the article was taken from the Internet.