2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
In relationships, many couples often go through games like emotional swings.
Let's remember how in childhood we liked to swing on a swing. And many adults, I'm sure, can still enjoy rocking …
Emotional swing play is possible under the condition of a holistic psychoemotional state. And even as part of a sexually charged role-playing game.
However, most often we are faced with the fact that emotional swing in psychology - it is a metaphorical picture of hesitation between a man and a woman at a time of usually unsettled relationships. In this case, the duration depends on the degree of maturity of both partners.
What if the emotional swing lasts a month, two, or even years?
A man / woman tolerates, explaining this with high and deep feelings. However, not everything is so simple!
Emotional hook, when a door slams in front of one of the partners, and opens again after a short period, a rather toxic manipulation. The principle of "bring closer - move away" is often deliberately used by pickupers for neurotic self-affirmation of their "alpha maleness", abusers, narcissists and other people with a distorted paradigm of spiritual, moral and social values. Same, when it comes to the initial stage of a relationship, then the emotional swing is used, as a rule, by women to maintain interest and increase the interest of men. But there is a balance to be found everywhere.… If a woman then gently clings to her beloved, then after a couple of hours she begins to criticize in a rude form and violate his boundaries, and then again turns into a gentle creature, that is, it makes sense to exclude psychopathological problems. If this is a "recommendation" of another "guru" from psychology after after vocational school, then a woman should understand the full extent of responsibility for such behavior. And instead of blindly following "advice", you need to listen to yourself or go to a psychologist to understand the truth of your feelings.
For a mature and self-sufficient person, such an emotional swing is not only not resourceful, but also contraindicated
Don't kiss frogs!
It is difficult to say who is more inclined to manipulations of this kind. Women are more likely to share their experiences in relationships, and men are more patient. But the emotional swing, as a game in which at least two people are involved, does not have a pronounced gender identity.
I will give examples from practice.
Many female clients share similar stories about emotional relationships with toxic men. So, any life circumstance is capable of unbalancing a partner - be it "in the morning: you are stupid, kapusha, come on faster! In the afternoon: hare, I missed you"
Or
"In the morning: You recovered and I don't want you!", And after work: I bought you a cake!"
The goal of the pick-up is catching women's hearts - to establish themselves in sex. He wants to create an impressive list of conquered women, and therefore today he is kneeling in front of you, holding a scarlet rose in his teeth, and tomorrow he drops calls and does not answer SMS. At the same time, pick-up artists use a very short period of time of keen interest from the promise of "getting married and living to old age" (usually 1-2 days) to getting what they want (sex). From now on, the girl will not be interesting. Moreover, if a girl resists, then here the pick-up artist often resorts to aggressive swings, causing the girl to have an acute attack of jealousy and fear of losing a man. This results in a passionate reconciliation followed by the disappearance of the "prince." The Narcissist's Target (in a long-term relationship) getting satisfaction from self-admiration. He follows the path of increasing his hyper-significance in order to deform the partner's personality and turn it into a dependent creature, a doll. The target of the abuser - possession of full power over a woman / man
See also: Women Abusers: Getting Out of Relationships (article for men)
And therefore, maintaining a feeling of fear in a partner, psychological, and often physical violence, leads to a deterioration in the psycho-emotional state of the partner, and the loosening of the nervous system.
At the very beginning of a relationship, abusers look happy and in love, but as a rule, this is a deliberate or even often unconscious tactic of the behavior of a person who wants to win over another.
Criticism in an emotional swing reaches its peaks and is also replaced by approval. Many women with no history of sexopathological problems began to complain that in these relationships there was a sharp decrease in libido, anorgasmia.
In the case of men who have suffered from female abusers, complaints of decreased sex drive have also been reported.
For example, "you are not a man, you are a rag, a piano, you can't even nail a nail, no woman can love you!"
"Look at yourself! Compare me and yourself! Yes, you should kiss my shadow, that I chose you! And you live in my apartment!"
There are times when men become impotent, especially if abuser ladies threaten them with physical violence and castration.
The emotional swing for the narcissist and the abuser is a kind of "comfort zone" that only they like. In them, he feels like a trainer with a whip, but not a free and self-sufficient person for whom spiritual values, love, trust, respect and mutual understanding are important.
Thus, an emotional swing is, as a rule, always toxic and even dangerous.
The choice is definitely up to the person!
But only if he wants to change his life scenario, a person will be able to reevaluate his life and realize the value and uniqueness of his personality, coming out of toxic relationships!
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