How Childhood Trauma From Losing A Father Affects The Life Of An Adult Woman

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Video: How Childhood Trauma From Losing A Father Affects The Life Of An Adult Woman

Video: How Childhood Trauma From Losing A Father Affects The Life Of An Adult Woman
Video: How childhood trauma affects health across a lifetime | Nadine Burke Harris 2024, April
How Childhood Trauma From Losing A Father Affects The Life Of An Adult Woman
How Childhood Trauma From Losing A Father Affects The Life Of An Adult Woman
Anonim

The story of one consultation using metaphorical cards (the text will mention the pictures presented by the illustration to the article).

- Good afternoon, Marina, why are you so excited?

- Hello! I feel bad!

- What's bad, clarify.

Everything is bad

- More specifically, please.

I don't know why I live and I feel very lonely, although I recently had a relationship, but my partner does not need anything, there is no future with him, for some reason … he told me about it directly! After which I lost hope and am in a state of mental separation from him, although there are mutual feelings. It hurts me a lot

- Is it necessary to part?

I think yes

“Then you should be happy about the chance to meet another, more suitable man for you.

Not happy, because I don't want to look for anyone anymore, I'm tired of relationships and vain hopes for the future, from looking for a suitable man, it's still not that

- Maybe you want to be alone?

No! I don’t want to be alone

- Then what exit do you see?

I do not know…

- Let's use a metaphorical clue (see the first card in the illustration).

I see disgust for myself, because I need help and I cannot cope on my own (cries)

- I'm helping you figure it out. What exactly do you need?

I do not know…

- The second card (see illustration).

Judging by the picture, I need to say goodbye to addicted relationships. However, I cannot say goodbye to this man! (crying)

- Can you change your attitude towards relations with him? Perhaps with the help of it you just can cope with addiction?

I do not know how!?

- Third card (see illustration).

It seems that in his face I need a father who will carry the load of my internal problems, comfort, support

- You didn't have a father?

Yes, from the age of nine, my parents divorced

- Did you miss your dad? Did you miss him as a child?

I really missed him! I cried a lot then, did not understand why my parents broke up … it was as if I was replaced after their divorce. I turned from a lively and cheerful child into a constantly sad and resentful girl. It seems that then the whole world wanted to offend me, I cried every day …

“Did you miss your father’s protection?”

Yes, obviously not enough! And now, apparently, this unprotected weakness and emptiness remained inside me, which I am trying to patch with a man … but he should not be responsible for my father! It is not right! But I suddenly realized that all my men were a priori to blame for the fact that my dad did not protect me in childhood, and that there was a constant lack of support inside me. By the way, my back (spine) often hurts, I read that this means a lack of internal support. However, it is very annoying to rely only on yourself all your life. Very disappointing

- Are you firmly "on your feet"?

Yes thank God! I am independent, I have a good and favorite job, profession, education, my own apartment. I live the way I want, travel, pamper myself often, and try not to deny myself anything, whenever possible

- Why do you need a man's support at this stage of your life?

I don’t know, maybe it will be calmer for me. I often worry for no reason, I panic … or sometimes everything gets confused in my head: I don’t want to be alone, but it’s also very difficult for me to let men come to me. But, probably, it's better all the same one …

- So which option do you choose?

If I choose loneliness, then let this man, who now I have without a future, be just my friend. He is very good as a friend and you can rely on him in difficult times, he has demonstrated this more than once with his attention and support

- You feel better now?

It seems, yes … somehow everything fit in my head … calmed down …

- What about your father? Do you hold a grudge against him?

Yes, no already … I understand that she and my mother could not live together, they had the right to happiness separately … I think it would be worse for them together

- What are you feeling now?

Something such an empty calm inside, but I no longer have a desire to plug this emptiness with anyone … I am even a little ashamed of what I previously expected from a man that he would carry the burden of responsibility instead of my father. Now I clearly see: where is the man, and where is my dad, they seemed to be divided

- And what about the future, does it bother you that your man does not want anything serious?

I think as long as I am what I am now: with my torment and misunderstanding of myself, panic and confusion, then no normal man wants a future. Instability inside attracts instability outside …

- Clever girl!

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