2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
It happens that some topic enters your life and begins to slowly settle down. And all the conversations, snatches of television programs, motivational pictures in FB, posts of friends - everything that you see, one way or another, comes down to this. So I have recently had a lot of debates with clients and friends on the topic of "missed opportunities". Someone married the wrong person or did not divorce on time, entered the wrong university, missed their stop, fearing the risk, or, conversely, took a chance and lost. Everyone has their own regrets.
Of course, I also know this feeling of longing for a missed opportunity, a burning pain that lodged in my chest. A sort of l'esprit d'escalier - a ladder mind, when in hindsight you understand what had to be said, how to do it, where to go. But upon closer inspection, you realize that there are no missed chances.
Any action is a conscious choice. “Missing” this or that chance, you choose something else - that which at that moment seemed better, more profitable, tastier, brighter. So what's the point in pulling your hair out later? You did what you thought was right. I chose the path that was supposed to lead to the intended goal. Didn't you? No problem. After all, you have no idea where the other road would lead you.
Why did you decide that it was just behind that other turn that happiness awaited you? We do not live in a black and white world where you can only go right or left. The options and possibilities are myriad, and every day we make a million subtle choices. What to order, what to wear, which route to take to work - each of these decisions affects our lives in one way or another.
My favorite story on this subject is about my best friend's tie. All morning he had been agonizing over which tie to wear for an interview. Chose, in my opinion, the most stupid. On the way, he spilled coffee on him, went into the first store he came across to buy a new one, got into conversation with a random customer and has been happily married to her for more than 10 years. I didn't go for an interview, moved to another country, opened my own business. A series of happy accidents or a deliberate choice?
There are no missed chances. You have your own choice. And since you did it, then at that moment it seemed right. If later you decided that the chosen path led to the wrong place, it is quite possible that the road is not to blame. It's just that your ultimate goal has changed during the journey. But now you know exactly where you are and how you got here. If you don't like it, you can always find another path, another destination, and a new goal. If you realized your mistake, you can correct it, or at least not make such a mistake in the future. Sense of regretting what has already been done?
Of course, it would be great to be able to calculate all the moves for many years to come. But is it really that much fun to follow the correct route all the time? Maybe sometimes it’s nice to get lost? Who knows where the next "missed chance" will lead?
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