​ No Chance. No Offense. Without You

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

No chance. No offense. Without you.

Feelings come like a wave of moonlight floods a sleepy forest, quietly, a little shabby sense of danger, a muffled feeling of involvement in what is happening, a new night of your life begins. Torn between day and night of your soul, you twitch, doubts flooded the shore, there is no one who could listen to you, this is not a joke, this is not even true, this is what you yourself carry in yourself to others, only instinctive vomiting with advice in your monologue, only convulsive contractions of the sphincter of help, turning the interlocutor out of you, he cannot keep your projection in himself, it is very toxic. And you know, this is so, they will not understand you, and you will not understand yourself either, you only think, dream of this understanding, but everything is in vain, only the paranoid shadow of your false self can understand you.

Sidelong glances, everything disappears somewhere, the metaphysics of pain presupposes suffering, we got up and left, and you lie there, grief-stricken, of course, grief, dumped on the spot, and no one holds their hands at the ready when you fall blind from your own indifference. Just understand, in your world, devoid of warmth and understanding, there is no place for you. It is difficult, painful and disgusting in places, understanding oneself entails the tyranny of unconscious bliss over a confused consciousness stuffed with conceit and empty thoughts. Any your desire in this state is meaningless, they do not have the most important thing - you. There is no warmth and no love, there is only a distorted vision of relationships, there is not even a hint of understanding oneself, there is only absolute conviction that one is right. You are still a child who did not know your mother's love, you rush with her in your soul, like a small child with a teddy bear, it hurts to see this from the outside, you are so small and already so unhappy, I will hug you, I want to warm you, in my a sopilka will begin to play in my head, spewing at me an eerie melody of maternal good for your child, and you will simply hug me with your thin arms, and your eyes will be filled with the unsurpassed moisture of grateful despair and hope, which I will break, as soon as a figure appears on the horizon, leading the consciousness into side, as once your mother left you with a man in the night, and disappeared there. This story has no end, there is no analysis that will complete your journey into the night after mom, there is no analyst who will return her to you, to your crib, still warm and already so empty, there is no way to forgive and understand, this is just forever, humble yourself, freeze, die, kill them, kill your memories, and after that it will not become easier for you, because mom is still near, but so far away, and she is no longer yours. Alienation, that's what she left you, and you are alone, and no one hears you, and you are dumb. Mom, why are you so blind in your choice? Am I not a miracle? No, you are not a miracle, you are not even he, you are the one who interferes with being with him. Oedipus, he is always there, it seems that instead of his mother, he stood between you like a colossus, like hatred stands behind love, and you are alone with all this, and you will definitely lose. No chance for you. No offense. Without you.

No, you will not just shed your tears, there are no more, your dreams have stolen the entire supply and a wet pillow in the morning, there is nothing for you. This is life, it goes on, order, lunch, bill, everything. Where to go? Who will you be alone with today? Why do you need all this if you … Although, do not worry, everything is already decided, do not worry. Don't be afraid, nobody will come.