2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
Consider a situation where people are separated and one is clearly feels offended.
Resentment against a parent, partner, girlfriend, loved one, boss, employee - it doesn't matter.
It is important that one person feels hurt.
I.e, he is offended, practically convinced that the other side is wrong (a) and with him - good and wonderful, the other - naturally bad, acted unfairly.
What does this mean?
And it says just the opposite.
If YOU are offended, then this is exactly what you are missingt, it is you who have a "shortage" after parting. Here's the truth. This means that you did not realize that in this relationship, you were given more than you spent. This is what the resentment is about.
If you are in pain, then the oxygen was cut off for you. It was you who were generously gifted in this relationship and maybe, but rather it is that YOU did not appreciate at all, did not realize generosity, the significance of what a person gave you - YOU just took, "parasitized".
Although a person could give you only high-quality attention, his time, but the true price and the energetic quality of it, you know when you lose.
So if YOU have abused disposition to you, parting puts everything in its place: the insult is felt by the one who took more and did not realize it.
Whatever he (his ego) thinks about this situation, and no matter how he justifies himself - he feels bad, then HIS was deprived flow: here's the truth.
If there is a balance in this give and take, then resentment does not happen - there is, simply, the completion of a life stage, and the opening of new horizons, people part warmly and relatively easily.
Resentment, there is nothing to "blind" - if one partner was not given more than it would be fair for him. But if one received more, then from this energy surplus, he blinded his claim.
If someone is offended by you for not giving enough attention, not caring enough, then there is only one conclusion - you, on the contrary, are spoiling your pretentious partner in some way.
You and somewhere replay your real self - played "pretty", overfed, otherwise it would not have been a complaint, but gratitude. Gratitude is a good measure of balance in a relationship. - equilibrium in the system along the "take-give" axis
Here you are your partner and provokes you, often without realizing it, checks you for authenticity, pushing:
Who is "darling" here, are you "pretty" here? Come on, give it more.
He does this to show you, so that you break through, if you play too much, so that you finally become real, showing your true desires and, most importantly, side-altars.
This is how you manifest yourself and you can be seen: to love, appreciate, respect or protest and hate - it doesn't matter.
The important thing is that it brings you back to you, aware of your limits
It is important that the provocateur or "parasite" is showing you the present for today, and for that, thanks to him.
He may be offended - you say? If you show him your limits, he may be offended.
Yes, it probably will.
But it will be useful to him.
And if you are afraid of this, then you give less in a relationship - and don't lie to yourself but refine and thank for what he does for you.
It hurts so much for people to realize their parasitic nature and therefore the offended, as a rule, wants to denigrate the "offender"to assert yourself and rise in your own eyes, compensating for their own vulnerability and thereby hide the truth about their parasitism.
Maybe someone will be outraged?
No!? How ?! it hurts me, it hurts me, then that other is bad. Since he is bad, is he wrong because it hurts?
And since he is wrong, then I am good, since someone is bad, someone is the same, then there must be good. Well, then I am good. This is how a child thinks.
Children's consciousness and infantilism are sharpened to take and consume, the baby is hungry - and angry. He is in pain, hungry and cold, and he demands, otherwise the poor thing will not survive - he is small. But one of the main qualities of an adult that distinguishes him from a child is the desire and ability to give.
If you gave more, as it seems to you, then the offense would not have happened
You give out of abundance, you have.
If the relationship ends, then this is not a problem, if the desire is to share, create, give your adult, then you will always find a way to realize it
And if the relationship really was not balanced and they took more from you than they gave, then at the point of parting you will only be convinced of this, you will experience no offense, a relief.
If, for example, you helped a person on the street: gave money, or transferred an old woman across the road, or bought a beggar bread, YOU are not offended that he / she did not give you anything in return.
You do not demand gratitude, all the more regularly, you are satisfied with the process of giving and the fact that the process of prosperity has ended does not offend you in any way.
You do not return to him and do not suck, did the person being gifted thank you so much, did he give you so much attention
Therefore, it is good to give - even more than is expected of you, then you will always be free from these people, free in their giving, free from the expectation of a response, gratitude.
In giving, you are rich and generous - and this is possible if YOU are an adult inside and have.
By definition, you have an abundance consciousness, not a scarcity consciousness.
If giving is an act that is self-sufficient and relevant for an abundant person, then the one who does it is not a manipulator, but actualizer … Giving, then, is a one-sided act, self-sufficient and holistic in itself, but only when the person doing it is whole.
If giving is not self-sufficient, but only half of the process, then this is an act of half-hearted people, not whole, split in themselves.
People split in themselves attract their own kind, because a whole person, maybe not immediately, but still easily recognizes - a manipulator, a "parasite".
Two actualizers easily get along with each otherlike two manipulators, and a manipulator and an actualizer cannot exist together.
Manipulators are easily carried on and get hooked on the manipulations of the same manipulators - this is a strategy to survive in an incomplete nature. Two manipulators pull the "blanket" from each other and all the time, they try to spend less, while the manipulators remain offended in any scenario, since there is a flawed consciousness, a consciousness of lack, insufficiency, deficiency.
The manipulator is always "not enough". These people are offended by definition, they are full of holes and it is impossible to saturate them.
And a "parasite" - offended, by definition, to recognize himself as a "parasite" is offended in twins
We always feel relieved when we get rid of "parasites". From any parasites: energy, physical, excess weight - we feel light, but certainly not offended.
So if you are offended, seek and be aware of where you the "offender" gave a lot, gave more than enough, gave so much that you even spent this surplus of energy in order to weave resentment or hatred out of it.
And to forgive is here if you have a grudge, you need yourself.
After all, if you look "twice", you will notice the following: we are offended not by him, but by ourselves, at what we expected and intended that the person did not plan to give us.
That is, you can take offense at your stupidity, infantilism, prudence, cowardice, cleverness, incompetence, wastefulness. It is for this that one must forgive oneself.
With the help of another, we were able to see it - gratitude to him should be from us, not offense.
Forgive yourself, silly, little, how would you forgive your beloved child. Then you will find that you don't need to forgive anyone anymore.
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