Love Triangles

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

I want to share with you my thoughts on love triangles. What is the motive that makes a woman become a man's second wife, that is, a mistress? After all, there are so many unmarried or already divorced good men around different ages. What's this? Competition with a woman, a wife? Like, am I better than her? And without this competition, the woman did not know her worth? In fact, a woman devalues herself as a woman by entering into a relationship with a man who always has at least one woman behind the screen - his wife. A lover devalues yourself also by entering into a relationship with the worst of men - the one who is unfaithful to his wife.

I will ask a question to my mistresses. Do you think that since he has changed once, then this will not happen the second time? Because you are so unique and he will definitely not cheat on you? You are staggered on the swing of insignificance and greatness. You are the star who overshadowed his wife, then a complete nothing, since he returns to bed with this wife, and then lies to you that he has not had sex with her for several years. The biggest defect in a man is that he has a wife. By entering into a relationship with such a man, you do not win, but lose.

In the developmental stories of such women, as a rule, there is a difficult relationship with the mother, who was never defeated as a teenager. Devaluation on the part of the mother, her competition with her daughter, then pushes the daughter in adulthood onto the path of competition with women, falling into love triangles in which she seeks to prove to herself that I am the Best of all women. The struggle with the mother is not completed and continues, then it is projected onto the married couple: the husband is the father, the wife is the mother, and the mistress is the daughter, who wins the father from mother and proves to her: I am better than you.

But this husband is playing his game. He is essentially an immature man. A mature man, if he is not satisfied with a relationship with a woman, he goes into loneliness, and only then builds a relationship with another woman. No! This same immature boy, not separated from his own mother, tries to separate from his wife (mother) and runs away from her into the street to the girls (mistresses). He has his own song, and his mistress has her own.

What role does the wife play here? And the wife plays along with the scenario of the husband. She is a wife-mother, or a wife-girl-daughter, if she does not leave a man after his betrayal, but takes offense and endures or does not forgive and continues to live with him and blame him for his adventures. She is essentially just as immature if left after an incident of cheating with this man. And she staggers between the role of a mother for him and a daughter, but as an adult woman does not manifest herself.

In adult men and women, love triangles do not happen - they are not interested and do not need them. A love triangle is essentially a triad - mom-dad-child, and these roles in the triangle flow and change from one to another. And people who fall into love triangles, in fact, did not solve the child-parent conflict with their parents in their childhood, did not become mature, did not mature, but were stuck for a long time in a teenage crisis and are trying to get out of it, through separation from each other, but ghosts of mums and dads stand at the head of the beds, which they share with their wife (husband), then with their lover (mistress).

An adult knows how to build dyadic (in pairs) relationships, an immature person builds only triadic (triangular) relationships, constantly drawing some third parties into paired relationships. In a triadic relationship, one always plays the role of a buffer, and the buffer dies first.

Dyadic relationships are taught to build a child in childhood by parents, when there is no child between dad and mom, just as there is no child in the parent's bed, and in emotional relationships. The child is not used in a mom-dad relationship. In the relationship between a father and a child, there is no mother: the mother does not interfere and does not correct the relationship between the father and the child, the father has his own responsibility to the child. The father does not interfere with the relationship between the child and the mother. In this case, there are clear and clear boundaries between all family members and their relationships. A triangle is the absence or blurring of borders. And the mistress here is the face invited to the bed of the husband and wife, plays the role of a catalyst for the couple's problems and crawls out of such relationships with broken brains and health.

And in couples where there is a "third extra" and there are children, children suffer, as they feel everything on an intuitive level and absorb the triangle model as a model of their life.

Therefore, I will probably turn to my mistresses again - you are a free link in this chain and you are free to choose a defective man (having a wife) or a free one. And give a husband-wife couple the opportunity to solve their internal problems without your energy, since in most cases the mistress will be the victim sooner or later.

A separate item here is a man (woman) who has just gone through a divorce - this is a risk group. A man, like a woman, after a divorce needs at least a year to survive the pain of loss. If such a man is not able to live alone and immediately jumps into a relationship with a woman, he pulls into a new relationship a train of unresolved problems of old relationships. This also applies to women who have just gone through a breakup.

Do not jump from boat to boat, but try your strength to drift in the ocean on your sails and feel self-reliance, live on self-sufficiency. Since internal resource deficiencies, formed in childhood traumas: love, admiration, recognition, power, security make you jump quickly into a relationship. you are still in your teens and have yet to go through your developmental and maturing path.

A love triangle is a symptom of the psychological immaturity of all its participants. The one who is the oldest is the first to say "no" and leave.

I wish everyone a happy peaceful relationship of love and respect)