I DO NOT WANT TO BE A GRANDMA! STAY GIRL

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

There are times when mothers do not want their daughter to have a child. The most traditional and understandable motivation for such resistance is associated with the desire to preserve the face and reputation of the daughter and family in the eyes of other people when it comes to the appearance of a grandchild outside of marriage. However, you can find other motivations of the daughter's reluctance to motherhood. One of these motivations is the fear of aging, that is, the fear of becoming a grandmother. The transformation into a grandmother is especially painful for women, for whom it is more important to seem young, to maintain their feminine charm, rather than the continuity of generations. In order to avoid the undesirable status of a grandmother, such women can do everything possible to leave their daughter in the state of a daughter: to dissuade from marriage, to force an abortion, to seduce with the prospect of a life without children, etc.

“Where can she have children! She is still a child herself!”Says one mother, who with all the fibers of her soul does not want to try on the role of a grandmother.

“Mom says that I still have time to lose my shape and turn my waist into a lifeline,” says the daughter of a mother who fiercely opposes her daughter's motherhood.

Women who are trying with all their might to keep their daughter in a girlish state may be too young, which leads to an unwillingness to try on the role of a grandmother, too infantile, afraid that the birth of grandchildren will force them to change their lifestyle, but for the most part they are women in more than mothers.

The point of view of one woman, whose mother scoffs at her early marriage and desire to become a mother, is this:

“She was not capable of being a full-fledged mother for me and my sister. Especially for my sister, as she was constantly ill. She put this burden on her father, who worked hard, but also looked after a sick sister, when I grew up, she obliged me to look after my always ill sister. As soon as my sister turned 18, her mother bought her an apartment and moved her there. When she found out that I was going to get married, she tried in every possible way to dissuade me, called my chosen one suspicious, incompetent, unworthy of my attention. At my wedding, she showed all her rotten essence, when every now and then on toasts to our address with her husband about the early appearance of children, she inserted her comments, they say, where are you rushing them. She constantly wonders if I'm pregnant. All the time he says that only a fool like me in the modern world wants to give birth to a child at 24 years old. But I know she's not thinking about me. She is afraid of old age, and if she becomes a grandmother, it will mean that old age has come."

Another woman confesses that her son calls his grandmother by name and “you”, as her mother demanded from his very birth. The boy actually does not know that there are grandmothers in this world, and what kind of relationship grandchildren may have with them.

These are examples of almost undisguised forms of resistance to being a grandmother. In some cases, they are not so obvious, and it is not so easy to recognize them for daughters who do not suspect that there is a completely different motive behind the maternal messages, the content of which is supposedly related to caring for the daughter. This situation can lead to a protracted childhood of a woman who follows her mother's instructions to “make a career,” “keep a figure,” “be free,” etc.