2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
Emotions - from fierce anger to naive falling in love - are an instant physical reaction of the body to important signals from the outside world. When our senses receive information - signs of danger, a hint of love interest, and so on - we physically adjust to the messages we receive. Our heart beats faster or slower, muscles relax or tense, the brain focuses on danger or calms down from a sense of security.
These physical reactions synchronize our inner state and outer behavior with the current situation and can help us not only survive, but also live in abundance. Our natural navigation system, which has evolved over millions of years, is much more useful when we are not trying to fight it.
But this is not always easy to do, since our emotions are not always reliable. Sometimes they help to recognize deception or pretense, working as an internal radar, giving accurate and in-depth information about what is happening now. Surely everyone had the feeling that this person is cheating.
However, in other cases, emotions from the past make it difficult to perceive current events, linking them to painful memories. These powerful feelings can completely take over a person and send him to the “reefs (in such cases, a person makes impulsive, harmful actions for himself). This is due to emotional rigidity.
Such an inflexible reaction may be the result of a long-standing pernicious story that a person repeats to himself many times (for example, "I always do everything wrong"). Or it may be due to the normal habit of using mental patterns, premises and rules that once helped a person (for example, in childhood, or early in a career), but now no longer work.
Emotional rigidity - being trapped in thoughts, feelings and behaviors that do not help - is associated with a number of psychological problems, for example, with anxiety, depression, insecurity, and others. Emotional dexterity - flexibility in thoughts and feelings, which makes it possible to respond optimally (and not routinely) to daily situations - is an important component of fulfilling life.
Emotional agility is not about controlling your emotions and thoughts. It's about choosing how a person will respond to their emotional warning system. After all, a person does not choose what to think and feel, but he can choose what to follow or not.
A person with developed emotional agility understands that life is not always easy, but continues to act in accordance with his most important values and moves forward - towards his big goals. He will also feel anger, sadness, shame, etc. - no one will get rid of this - but he treats his feelings with interest and understanding. These feelings do not lead them astray, because they are directed to their highest aspirations.
To be continued…
The article appeared thanks to the book "Emotional Agility" by Susan David.
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