2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
In one study (The Dark Side of Happiness, Gruber) it was proved that you can not only be happy beyond measure, but also enjoy pseudo-happiness, try to find your happiness at the wrong time and in the wrong way. This does not mean that you have to constantly live in fear and anxiety. This means putting happiness in perspective and seeing your “negative emotions” in a more acceptable light. In fact, labeling them as "negative" only reinforces the myth that these beneficial feelings are, so to speak, negative.
When we are overjoyed, we neglect important threats and dangers. It is no great exaggeration to say that excessive happiness can kill you. You may resort to more risky behaviors, such as binge drinking, binge eating, neglect of contraception, and drug use.
When a person has the mood “Everything is fine!”, He makes hasty conclusions and resorts to stereotypes much faster. Happy more often place a disproportionate emphasis on outgoing information and neglect late details.
Our so-called negative emotions lead to a slower, more systematic processing of information. We rely less on hasty conclusions and pay more attention to important details. Isn't it interesting that the most famous detectives in literature are particularly grumpy.
A “negative” mood encourages a more considerate and compromise way of thinking when facts are learned in a creative and new way. With a fright, we focus and dig deeper. People in negative moods are less frivolous and more skeptical, and the lucky ones are content with simple answers and trust fake smiles. Who will question the surface truth if everything is so good? Therefore, the lucky man goes ahead and puts his signature on the document.
The paradox of happiness is that the conscious struggle for it is absolutely incompatible with the nature of happiness itself. True happiness comes as a result of self-sufficient activity, and not as a result of an external cause, even if the latter, it would seem, is as merciful as the desire to be happy.
Impulses for happiness pull expectations, and expectations are a feeling of resentment that is waiting for its time. In one study (the paradoxical effect of expecting happiness, Mouse), participants were given a fake newspaper article that praised happiness, and a control group read an article that did not mention happiness. Two groups watched the randomized clips - both happy and sad. Participants who were asked to rate their happiness after reading the article came out after watching the "happy movie" feeling less happy than a control group who watched the same movie. Associating very high values with happiness raised their expectations of how things “should be,” which prepared them for disappointment.
It can be concluded that the pursuit of happiness can be as harmful as the actions of the botler or brunder, which I wrote about in previous articles. All of these mechanisms are caused by the discomfort of "negative emotions" and unwillingness to endure something that is remotely associated with the dark side of emotions.
To be continued…
The article appeared thanks to the book "Emotional Agility" by Susan David
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