2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
Triangulation is when someone else is included in the union of two. This third can be anyone, such as a mother-in-law, mother-in-law, family friend, or even a pet. But, most often there is a child on this birth. In the presence of a child, scandals can subside. It happens that one of the parents, or even both, complain to the child about the other parent, finding an ally in him. At the same time, through the articulation of emotions in parents, internal tension is reduced. And it seems that family relations will stabilize for a while. In such families, the child is always on the alert, he has the illusion of control over the situation. Fearing that in his absence something terrible will happen, wherever the child is, all his thoughts are with his parents. When such a person grows up, he has practically no chance of creating his own full-fledged family, because, unconsciously, he continues to be in the triangle created by his parents.
Practical example
Svetlana is an intelligent, educated, pretty woman of about forty. Her parents died more than ten years ago. Svetlana leads a secluded life, "work is home", she never created her family and is now thinking about how to change this. Once, at one of the trainings on the development of sexuality, Svetlana "pulled" her left leg, since then the leg hurts, poisoning the woman's calm lonely life. At my request, Svetlana drew herself and people important in her life, as well as a sore leg.
Svetlana herself is lightning; Mom is a pink cloud; Papa is a blue cloud; Musical instrument (lyre) - head of work, loves music; Three human figures are female friends; The bee is a good friend. The sore leg is a blue ball. - What would you yourself say about Svetlana when you see her drawing? - I would say that she has a very narrow social circle, and she herself is often harsh, because lightning cannot be called good. - Describe the ball, what is it? - The ball is movement, energy. - How does the ball feel? - He is at a loss, cannot understand why he is needed here.
- I would like to merge with the blue background, on which the lightning is located, but cannot. - What's stopping him? - If the ball disappears, the lightning can move from its place, and terrible things will happen. - What can happen?
- What are the tears in my mother's eyes? - I do not know. - Dream it up. - Maybe that when I am at school, something terrible can happen. In another quarrel, a drunken father will kill his mother. - Svetlana, so many years have passed, the parents are no longer in the world, and you still seem to be next to them, protecting their fragile union. Who needs it now? - Indeed, now no one. If the ball merges with the background, the lightning can move closer to your friends. Only then will she have to change - to become something or someone else, and not lightning. - There is a lot of free space at the bottom of the sheet, what could be there? “There might be a lake below, lightning could be reflected in it. Perhaps there is an earth that lightning could illuminate, but it is best to have a lightning catcher there that would convert its energy into peaceful purposes. I don't know if such a thing exists in reality. - It is enough that he exists in your reality. Can you draw it? - Yes, this is such a stable table that converts lightning energy into electrical energy. I wanted to draw flowers nearby. And the bee will pollinate these flowers. Yes, I want to have a man in my life who is as stable as this table. But, in reality, there is no such lightning converter.
“Okay, I'll think I liked the table metaphor. What can I be next to the table? The easiest way to say it is a chair, but I doubt it. I need time to figure this out. Today I realized that deceased parents take up much more place in my life than living people. And I still seem to preserve their union. - A sore leg helps you with this. As soon as you began to act for the development of sexuality, which means for the arrangement of your personal life and separation from your parents, your leg began to hurt. - Yes, that is right. A sore leg and closeness with deceased parents - this is definitely not necessary for me. I want to change this. A few days after working with the drawing, Svetlana had a dream. Parents in this dream looked at each other with love, they had a great time together. Mom told Svetlana that she was happy and added that it was time for her daughter to live her life …
Other articles on separation from parents:
If a man is "mama's boy" - is it forever?
If the mother is "adopted", how can this be changed?
Illness as a manifestation of emotional dependence. Working with a drawing.
First place for
Beauty, the beast, and separation from parents.
Author: Milashina Olga Georgievna
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