6 Signs You Are Trying To Run Away From Yourself And What To Do With It

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2024-01-15 16:05

Being honest with yourself is very difficult. Why bother so hard if we all just want to be happy? And so it turns out that sometimes it's easier not to see the truth, not to listen to yourself, to hover in the clouds and build castles, than to look at your life and admit that something went wrong. After all, not only is it not very pleasant - to admit your mistakes, then you will also have to do something with this: once you see it, you will not be able to see it. Here our psyche carefully and pulls on our eyes rose-colored glasses of illusion, in which you can go with the flow and further without doing anything special. Because when it comes to "raise your soft spot and do something" - the psyche again throws up a lot of excuses, explanations, reasons and reasons not to do it. And yet, how to recognize in time that there is something more real than it seems to us? How to understand that we are trying to run away from ourselves, from our desires and needs? There are some indirect pointers to this. They are easier to spot. So, you run away from yourself if:

Do you want to leave

Most often from the country (if we talk about our Moldovan realities). A huge number of people believe that in other places they will be better, there they will be happier, more successful, more loved. And the truth is that if a person in his place was bad and not very successful, then in a new place he will hardly pick up the stars from the sky. The stars shine on those who are developing well at home and going up. For them, a "good economy" can really be a springboard. And for those who confirmed the statistics at home - and will continue to confirm it in any other place.

The fictional world is sweeter than the real

In any form. There is online communication (without access to real life), and games (with endless pumping of characters), and even books. Yes, books. Sometimes people do not want / cannot live in reality and prefer (more often unconsciously) to live in fantasies and illusions. And then the drunken reading of books, which does not contribute to the establishment of deep connections with people and with oneself, begins to harm real life. Sucking deeper into the beautiful worlds and destinies of heroes.

You live the life of a hamster in a wheel

Why not proteins? Comparison with proteins is too flattering from this angle. The hamster is a hopeless and stupid bustle. With this format, a person has approximately the following routine of life: got up, served himself, worked, had lunch, came, had a rest, slept. And so in a circle. Year after year. And for what? What for? To what? You and I know very well that many people, unfortunately, do not know the answers to these questions. Because they have no time - they need to turn the wheel. And this is their purpose. If you often say about your life "groundhog day", "vicious circle", "work-home-work-home" and so on, then the question arises - maybe you are afraid to stop? Because then you will have to look at your life not in the blurry focus of eternal vanity, but in focus? And then will there be something there that will delight the eye? In this perspective, “life in a circle” can be an escape from oneself.

You are bored with yourself, not interested

And then you try to do everything so as not to be alone with yourself. In order not to hear your inner voice. And the worst thing is to remain in silence. A lot of people, being in the kitchen, eating or preparing food, even just going home, immediately turn on at least something: TV (yes, it turns out, they are not only bought, but even watched), radio, music. Just not to be alone with your thoughts. And then:

You are not prone to introspection and healthy self-criticism.

No, gnawing and scolding yourself is always welcome. You can also love this. But constructive criticism does not work, you do not know how to do this. Because this is already a healthy, long-term relationship with yourself. But when could you build them if you are only busy escaping from yourself with periodic respites for unemotional and self-destructive sex with yourself? It's much easier. By the way, most people today do not just treat themselves like this.

You don't like the way you look, what kind of person you are in general

You are a bad mother, a weak employee, an unimportant friend, an ugly woman, even slightly plump, etc. Here, of course, we can talk about low self-esteem. But isn’t the same self-esteem the same non-acceptance of oneself?

The list is endless. But if you have something that responds to the above, then you have recognized in yourself a tendency to escape from yourself. Let's try to figure out what can be done to stop this.

You need to start communicating with yourself. We need to establish an internal dialogue. This is the only way you can hear and understand your true needs and desires, and find ways to adequately satisfy them. Those. you will not break headlong into another country, "give up everything" and "start from scratch" after breaking off relations with someone. This is just an escape from myself. Instead, you can sit down and talk to yourself. Understand what happened, for what reasons, what conclusions do you draw for yourself in the future, how you will try to stick to them, and most importantly - where will you go next? And if your path "further" will lie through another country - great! But this will no longer be an escape from the past, but a journey into the future. There is a difference, you must agree

For this purpose, keep a diary where you will start writing about your thoughts, feelings, events, and people in your life. It is very difficult at the beginning to maintain consistency in a conversation with yourself in your own head, it is not easy. Therefore, a mirror is needed. And paper is the best mirror for such purposes: you can always go back and look into it (reread).

Prepare for what will not always be easy, joyful, and comfortable. You are not used to taking care of yourself because you have never really done it. When you start asking yourself various uncomfortable questions (like: why do I train my elf online for 10 hours, but in real life I don't even train my physical body?), It will not always be easy to find an honest answer to them (like: because I do not believe in myself, and there is no motivation, because there is no goal, and sometimes just laziness). In this case, you can talk to someone: a friend or a psychologist.

The most important goal to strive for is:

a) understand what is wrong in my life

b) understand how I want it to be

c) understand how to achieve this

If you really start living on at least these three points, the run from yourself will stop. And the return journey will begin - towards yourself.

I wish you a pleasant trip!