2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
Many people think that when they receive passwords to mail, social networks and mobile of their partners, this is one of the points of trust.
I guess it's not really about trust. It's more about control and the desire to get into the partner's space. Thus, a man or a woman cope with their anxiety, which arises precisely on the basis of mistrust.
In this case, the following idea arises: if I have access to my partner's personal space, I will know about all his affairs, which means that he will have no secrets from me. However, the reality is that secrets can be and many need personal space. And this personal space is formed in some other place.
In fact, this is not about trust, but about NOT trust. Whether we like it or not, we feel that we are not trusted. And also at the level of sensations, we begin to justify the expectations of our partners. Moreover, if you dig deeper, then the one who has broken trust, deliberately builds relationships in such a way as to justify their distrust. Such a person attracts people and situations in which he is convinced every time that he believes in:)
Have you noticed how differently we behave with people and what sides we show? Many reactions and actions are dormant in a person until the moment when he meets the one with whom these reactions are revealed. You can analyze this by interacting with your friends. Each of our friends is a mirror that reflects some of our part, and we, accordingly, it.
They say "trust but verify." But no one is talking about how many people are not ready for what they have checked. Let me explain what I mean. The person checks, controls, conducts conversations with his partner. As a result, it turns out that the partner got carried away, deceived, hid something. It doesn't matter what kind of hobby or deception. The important thing is that it is difficult, painful and unbearable. So, what is next? All the cases that I know are reconciliation and an attempt to build relationships. Someone succeeds. Some do not, and as a result, people diverge.
You need to think many times before expressing your disbelief. Answer your questions honestly:
And what will happen if I find out that a person has deceived, hid something, got carried away?
Am I ready / ready to end the relationship?
Is there a risk that I will forgive?
Will I have the will not to justify his / her behavior, but just to leave?
Do I have enough willpower not to return to the relationship when the anger and resentment passes?
And am I ready / am I now to learn something that can hurt me?
When we find out that a person deceived, hid something, got carried away, we feel pain, resentment, disappointment. It turns out that when we climb into our personal space, we seem to consciously go for this pain, resentment and disappointment. And here the most important thing will be the willingness to end the relationship. Otherwise, there is no point in shaking it all up. And if you forgive, then forget this episode forever and no longer use the passwords of your companions;)
Why am I talking about ending a relationship? - because without trust it is difficult to be in relationships and build them.
Is it about trust when we are asked for passwords from our mails, social networks and mobiles? Everyone makes a decision for himself. I tried to explain what could be behind this.
Trust each other. Justify each other's trust. Love each other.
If you can't trust - consult a psychologist:)
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