Respect And Trust In The Other Is The Basis Of The Therapeutic Relationship

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

I want to share a simple but impressive fact.

“Sometimes patients, realizing that the disease manifests in them not the best personal qualities, do not want to talk about themselves until they are convinced that by telling them they will not lose the respect of the doctor. For this reason, the relationship between the patient and the doctor has a significant impact on what the patient says to the doctor and what he is hiding."

Background: I recently collected a dozen or two books on psychology, sexology, psychiatry in an e-book, among them I am now reading one, the name and author of which I do not even know, since the inscription was loaded with just a set of characters. And there, at the very beginning, there are recommendations on how to conduct a conversation with a patient. If you replace in the text of the quotation given just above, the words patient for person, doctor for psychotherapist, and illness for facts or data about yourself, then a very simple and important truth will come out. Trust and mutual respect are an important part of psychotherapy.

How many times has it happened when I started to undergo personal therapy as a client, that with the therapist I was ashamed and embarrassed to tell something "wrong" about myself, in small psychotherapy groups I tried to present facts in a certain way and way … God forbid, all these people will see what I am! They will definitely turn their backs forever and loathe me. And only over time, when the degree of trust increased, the reactions to small doses of the "terrible" truth about myself were not shameful, arrogant, devaluing, I was able to do a very simple and at the same time most difficult thing - just tell another about myself.

In groups and in individual work as a psychotherapist, I try to pay attention to any, even insignificant words, details and facts that others share with me. I strive to be as neutral as possible and with a keen interest in the stories entrusted to me, because you never know what a person reliably experiences when he shares his innermost, which for me at first glance may seem simple and ordinary. I notice how people are pleasantly surprised when, at the last meeting of the group or at the end of individual consultations, I can recall the nuances that sounded or occurred at the first meetings, at one of the emotionally important sessions for this person.

Respect in my client, the person who sits opposite and talks about himself, is one of the basic and significant components of therapy for me. It does not need to be particularly deserved, as it may initially seem. It provides a great resource and support for your own changes.

If in the process of personal therapy you notice that the therapist shames you, allows himself to regularly disrespectful remarks about you, wants to see you as someone else deserving respect, then such a process can bring a short-term effect if you are easily hooked on feelings of "weak" … On the other hand, such a relationship cannot be called psychotherapy; a relationship with a psychologist should be based on mutual respect, trust, and the value of the client as a person. Be careful and attentive to yourself!