Why Are There Always Three Participants In Therapy And Who Is This Third?

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

There are two participants in therapy - the therapist and the client. At first glance, everything is logical and predictable. But why then there is no therapeutic effect in any other conversation. How does a normal conversation between two buddies differ from a therapy conversation. In a therapeutic conversation, special emphasis is placed on the client's speech.

The client's speech is the third necessary participant in the process. That is, for a successful therapy, three main elements are needed - therapist, client and his speech … The therapist pays attention to the fact that what says the client, how he says and what does he really want to say … Along the way, the client will talk about his actual problem, which led him to therapy, and to understand how it happened, the therapist will have to turn to the client's memories in order to trace the entire path of the formation of such ways of thinking and living. Amazingly, this way of thinking will permeate the client's entire story. Telling her the client will see his unconscious attitudes, patterns and connections that lead him to undesirable reactions and consequences. He will, perhaps for the first time in his life, recreate his story in such a way as to clarify, see and realize how he actually perceives and understands himself in certain circumstances. What is his story really about. He will be able to separate his personal relationship with himself from the relationship of significant persons (for example, mothers). This means that he will have the ability to question the correctness and steadfastness of children's attitudes and fixations. This is one of the most important stages in therapy.

What does it mean to question old attitudes? It means parting with the usual way of dealing with life in favor of the new, the unknown, and usually unformed new way … The unknown is scary. First of all, this is due to the fact that we do not know what to rely on in this unknown, what results we will get later. Uncertainty breeds emptiness. And the psyche does not tolerate emptiness. During this period, it is very important for the therapist to be with the client in this void. But, it is even more important that the client's speech does not disappear in this emptiness. Meeting with emptiness, he will describe it and thus get to know it, cognize it and fill this emptiness with meaning. The experience of emptiness in therapy cannot be overemphasized. After all, this is the place where a new meaning can be born, and hence a new attitude towards life, towards oneself and new more mature opportunities for self-realization. When discussing these possibilities with the therapist, the client not only talks about them, hears himself, but also receives feedback and, thus, more deeply sees his way of thinking. At the same time, he sees his inconsistencies, cliffs and inconsistencies. This opens up the opportunity to eliminate inconsistencies and breaks in thinking and build new sequences and connections at a conscious level. And to realize is to master what previously possessed you.

As a result, the client receives invaluable experience and a tool with which he can manage his affects and understand his goals, ways of achieving, and most importantly, he is realistic about his capabilities and limitations. His speech becomes clear, meaningful, capable of constructive dialogue and confrontation in those situations in which the affect previously lived.

psychologist Kishchinskaya Alla