2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
I want to share with you the story of Tom Shediak, the director of films such as Ace Ventura, Liar Liar and Bruce Almighty. At the beginning of the 2000s, Shediak's films earned over $ 2 billion. In Los Angeles, he had a 1,500 square meter scrap and a fleet of luxury cars and traveled in private jets. By all standards, he has achieved success in the ultra-competitive film business, but his own standards have not been met.
He wrote: “The lifestyle is normal, but the expected increase in happiness has not happened. As for me, it was all neutral or negative. There was an unpleasant feeling when I thought about the needs of people who had nothing to pay for food, medicine, and so on. Nobody is in a hurry to give them this money. You have to ask. And when they ask about it, it seems to mean that I am more valuable than them. I do not believe in this."
Shediak realized that despite such an assessment of "value" in culture, he needed something different. Therefore, he sold his large house and moved to a smaller one, which he liked, although it did not resemble an ascetic's haven. He began flying commercial airlines in economy class and rode a bicycle in local affairs. He became more picky about a film project and started sponsoring organizations he believed in. Shadyak did not renounce his riches, but simply optimized them and gave them their proper place in his life; he has more time and energy for his real priorities.
He insisted that his choice concerned only him personally. “I cannot judge anyone,” he said, “and my path is different from the path of others. I have not renounced everything. I just reconciled myself to my needs."
Shediak has built his life on well-defined principles that can completely become the guides in his movement, regardless of what is happening in his environment. “Our model of success - he explained - is directed outward, - you need to have an appropriate status at work, a certain level of prosperity. And I believe that real success is directed inward … This is love. This is kindness. It's a community."
Some Hollywood pals thought he was crazy, and they told him so. Others praised Shediak for his decision. But neither the first nor the second interested him. In one interview, he was asked if he became happier after changing his lifestyle, and he replied: "Of course, yes." He knew he was doing the right thing about himself and that gave him the courage to go his own way despite criticism or admiration.
That is, he realized his own motives.
Realizing your own motives is the art of living up to your own values - by believing and behaving that are dear to you, give satisfaction and make actions meaningful. The next step in achieving emotional flexibility is to define your true values and act according to them, not those that are thrown by others, not those that you think you should worry about, but those that you really care about.
The article appeared thanks to the book "Emotional Agility" by Susan David
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