2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
There are people who achieve a lot in life.
They almost always work, are busy with something, they have a lot of interests, hobbies, hobbies.
Their schedule is very tight, time is not keeping up with them.
They know exactly what they want, how they need it, what is right and what is not.
They enjoy planning and controlling their lives.
They don't like change and uncertainty.
They have a lot of friends, acquaintances and very few friends, or even none at all.
They can often move, change their place of residence, work, people …
They don't really need anyone, they are independent and self-sufficient.
They can … anything.
They can't help but be able to.
But they are often alone.
There are many attempts to create relationships in their experience.
They try very hard, BUT they are not appreciated, they do not live up to expectations, they demand something, devalue, disappoint, betray, do not love, do not love them as they should …
They are forced to leave the relationship.
Silently, with a scandal, through treason, running away, forcing the other to leave …
In general, there is no way to stay …
But They want to. They really want to meet Their Love. Special.
There will be no contradictions and differences in this love. There will be no victims and no elections, where the other will understand without words what and how it is needed. Love in which They will be important and valuable - they will be able to live their life, be themselves and be close to another person. Without words. It just goes by itself.
Sounds simple! Why doesn't It work out for Them?
Deep inside They know - to be myself, I must be alone; if I want to form a couple, I must be ready for enslavement, for absorption.
When these people meet someone, fall in love, their personal boundaries dissolve, disappear.
They no longer know what they want, how they like it.
The other, his feelings, needs become more important.
They cannot say “no”, “it doesn’t suit me”, because remember - they can do EVERYTHING!
The only thing that they cannot - will manifest itself as it really is. With their needs, feelings, desires.
They do not know how to speak directly and openly:
A) they know that you need to be “good” to be loved;
B) they trust the feelings of others more than their own - it is easy to convince them that they want something else or want something that is not “right”.
They learned a long time ago that in order to be with someone you have to give up yourself.
They remember that manifestation of oneself in difference hurts the Other and can lead to rejection, loss of relationship.
When these people were children, they were not perceived as individuals.
The significant adult was not at all interested in the child's “I”.
He was always loved for "certain", "for something."
They were not seen or heard.
They did not accept in vulnerability and need.
Only controlled and absorbed.
Do you think it is easy to live in a relationship where you are not ?!
Probably very painful, hard and lonely.
Believe me, it was worth a titanic effort to build an imperceptible border that could keep the fragile "I"!
They shut themselves off from the world to survive!
The fear that they will disappear still lives in their hearts …
The path to change is undoubtedly long and difficult …
To someday come to:
- restoration of your sensitivity;
- relying on your own feelings and feelings;
- building and defending their boundaries in relationships;
- acceptance of their vulnerability and need;
- free approach-distance in relationships;
- the opportunity to see those people who are not trying to absorb you …
And the most important thing…
Assign your value to yourself.
Accept yourself unconditionally.
So that someday my I would meet Yours on equal terms in freedom of manifestation, in the difference of feelings and needs, in love and intimacy.
Recommended:
The More Pleasure There Is In Life, The Less Pleasure There Is In Life. What Is The Paradox?
Have you noticed how much time in life you devote to certain pleasures? Among all the types of pleasures of our time, we can list the following, into which we literally fall through and do not notice how much of our time they take - watching TV, TV programs, news, hanging on Facebook, VK, non-stop reading on the Internet, TV series and watching them or on TV.
Where There Is Guilt, There Is No Room For Responsibility
It happens that I peer into the harsh proverb "They carry water to the offended." This is when some suffer, and the responsibility for this lies with others. What is the ambush here. Until a person realizes the benefit of his suffering, there is no hope that he will get rid of it.
What Is Hidden Behind The Disgust For People ?! Love May Be Hiding There
So what could be hidden behind disgust for people? Let's first understand the definition of "disgust" so that everyone can understand everything. This feeling in perception and experience is quite complex, and the definition in Ozhegov's explanatory dictionary is quite simple and understandable:
Learn To Understand People! Everything People Say Is Not True
I am sure that each of you at least once faced a situation when a person says one thing to you, but does something completely different. Why is this happening? This is a lie, weakness, insecurity … What motivates people at this moment? In life, it is very important to be able to understand people.
"Butterfly Effect". Are There (were, Are There) Alternatives To The Once Unsettled Relationship?
Last weekend with her eldest daughter I watched the world-renowned fascinating science fiction thriller "The Butterfly Effect" (with all four endings for the film). I saw him in my youth, came back to him again. Feelings and thoughts on re-viewing are completely, completely different … But the main idea of the film touched much more than before.
