I'm Tired Of Being Afraid

Video: I'm Tired Of Being Afraid

Video: I'm Tired Of Being Afraid
Video: Clary Fray | I Am Tired Of Being Afraid 2024, May
I'm Tired Of Being Afraid
I'm Tired Of Being Afraid
Anonim

I'm tired of being afraid.

I'm tired. In general, and in particular, far and wide, my weariness from the fear of living causes me a tender smile of a fisherman tired of waiting for a bite. Tired of being afraid is when fear transforms your personality in such a way that the causelessness of fear becomes apparent. I am afraid not to be afraid, and this is the whole point of my psychology of my success and calmness. It's scary, and I don't like being afraid, that's why I'm tired. And in my opinion, this is just an ideal scheme for achieving the state of "I am not afraid", because when I am tired, I do not seem to be afraid, but not because I am not afraid, but because I am tired. I'm a genius, even if I'm not real.

Our life, paradoxically, from complex has turned into an even more complex one, and this is also part of the realization of our fear of living. Indeed, it is quite difficult to live completely without fear, on the other hand, living in constant fear under the guise of fatigue is also extremely uncomfortable. I am afraid not to be afraid, and this is the paradox of my path to happiness, with an obstacle in the form of the Oedipus complex and the inferiority complex of my ability to desire. The fear to desire the forbidden and calmly interact with the object of my desire turns into my inability to desire and fulfill desires, because this is terribly impossible, because this object does not respond to me with its unquestioning readiness to surrender to me just like that. And that's the problem. Especially my problem.

At this point, I am not even completely afraid, but for the sake of appearance, because if I show my fear in full, I will dissolve in it and it will lead me to the other side of my desired object. It turns out that being afraid is really scary, and not being afraid is also scary, in principle I am scared, and this is my essence. Fear will in any case give me what I want, either directly, through overcoming fear, or indirectly, through merging with fear and connecting with the shadow side of the desired object. And in this struggle I choose the most vile and sickening tactician - neutrality. I neutrally declare myself fear-tired by ignoring the fear process. Of course I'm good, but am I as good as I think about myself?

Fear is phenomenally beautiful in my understanding, and it is quite possible, in the future, great minds will come to the conclusion that fear itself is the object of my unconscious attraction, and the object of desire I declare is just an excuse to start being afraid, because to start is also scary. Perhaps it is so, and fear, along with love, is the meaning of all my desires, this is all I want, but I'm afraid to admit it. After all, fear (of death) is, in fact, the only object in our life with which we are in constant contact and we change precisely because of and in spite of it. And all this time we love him. In an absurd way, I come to the idea that fear is the object of my unconscious love, which I do not show, otherwise, having manifested it, I will become free from fear, and in a sense I will die. Although, my neutrality also has little life.

I am afraid not to be afraid, therefore - I am afraid to die. Having resolved my complexes, I turn into a prototype of myself, more precisely, into the object that I wanted to have. This path from mom to mom is filled with a life steeped in fear, this vitality that I fear and that I never want to lose. I should learn to live in this delicate balance of fear, this will be the harmony of my soul, to be afraid not to be afraid to be afraid.

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