Tired, Confused, Angry Women

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

From 18-30 we manage to give birth to children and begin to sweat that we have a lot of anger, unfulfilled dreams, psychosomatics and we are aging faster than we would like

Often the mother breaks down at the child, only because she is no longer able to withstand the pressure of her husband's negativity. Or unable to tolerate his non-support, or even worse - psychological or physical abuse.

I do not believe that one should consider a person in isolation. Because these are artificial conditions.

I believe that managing your emotions is very important. But it is also important where you are now.

Very often the mother breaks down on the child, only because she is no longer able to withstand the pressure of her husband's negativity. Or unable to tolerate his non-support, or even worse - psychological or physical abuse.

All why? Because in our country it is customary to “grow together”. Only how many women find themselves alone when he has achieved something. This is because it is generally accepted that one must have a family before the age of 30. It's like shooting back. And everyone lives like this, for show, not by feelings, not by sensations, but by the result. The country of the result is his mother. But where there is a result, where are we?

Do we depend on the result and scold children for poor grades, for a broken vase, for a dirty floor? We do not see a person in a child and we are afraid to admit that we are unhappy with him. We feel guilty for taking off on the younger, weaker. And all why? Because we put up with what is not worth putting up with at all. As soon as worries or problems are added, this situation does not stand up, because it was precarious before.

A system system is a whole organization. Well, it can't be the father has nothing to do with when the mother comes off with the child. There can be no wife and husband to do with when their child has this or that symptom. The wife cannot have anything to do with it when the husband is drinking. Well, it’s not easy. This is a whole system and we are not isolated.

What are we doing? We are engaged in masochism: we don’t like something - we save up, save up, then we break down, blame ourselves, persuade that everything is not so bad around us and that this is just a problem in us and we try to endure further.

But what is the point? In the fact that we do not what we want, we do not live the way we want, because we lack that very rubber patience, which we would rather endure the husband of an alcoholic, gambling addict, workaholic, information addict who does not see or hear what to express and realize your ambitions.

So many labels were attached to women that we just got confused already. We do what is required of us - we give birth to children, we get married, but not of our own free will, but because they are pushing us to do so. It's like opening a butterfly's cocoon - it will die, because it is not yet ready for such a life. The same is true here, they do not allow a woman to be fluid - the attitudes of society, men, all these arguments about the feminine essence. What about being a woman? Does anyone really know? How to manage your sexuality? With whom to be and how and why?

It is not easier for men, many grew up without a father, few can sincerely report that they really love their fathers. Hence, instead of feelings, a heap of intellectual structures and building up with a head - filling that void, in the place of which there should be an image of a man whom a woman loves, approves, and does not cover up with bad words.

Eventually. We do not have time to mature at all. Not men, not women. Already from 18-30 we have time to give birth to children and soar about the fact that we have a lot of anger, unfulfilled dreams, psychosomatics and we are aging faster than we would like. Because life is not at all high. Because we cannot make out what we want now. Because it’s a shame not to want children, it’s a shame to want a beautiful expensive dress in rhinestones and crystals. Because a well-earning woman is ashamed to provide only herself, because there is also a parental family - this should be the case for them.

As a result, we drag halves of people, collecting ourselves to a heap. Instead of getting on my own feet, dealing with myself, looking for an interesting job for myself, my own business. Instead of spending years of therapy getting to know yourself and your desires. Instead of wanting to be with a person by your side, and not running to marry him and children from him, in order to be "normal" - read like everyone else.

Yes, the majority outweighs. And it takes courage to look beautiful, to be in the resource, to be with money, to be happy with a child, to enjoy a relationship at any distance, the main thing is not to fall apart inside from time to time.

It takes courage not to complain about life, to be yourself and do what you want. After all, everything around everyone is bad, there is always something to groan about. And this is not at all shameful! It is shameful in society not to hide what is cool for you, for real, and not to take off your mask when you enter your house.

If something is wrong in your life, it does not mean that you are such a person, not at all. What a cult of self-flagellation! This means that you have a need for growth, and you press it and it turns into a negative. The more a person has a request, the more his desires and interests, the more difficult it is for him, because all this you need to allow yourself to want. And this means that the first thing that comes across will not work and you need to look for it, and this is the whole path. The main thing is that this is your own path, and not someone else's!

Allow yourself to want, allow yourself to dream and ask yourself the question: “How do I want to live in 10 years? What to do and how I see my day in 10 years. And let it be your personal desires, enough to help everyone except yourself. To be a woman is a pleasure, it is to go your own way and see your desires, needs.

An unhappy woman will not please, she evokes pity or a desire to stay away. Nobody will come and give us happiness. Only we ourselves can ask for it or want to do it. And it is important to distinguish what and when to choose from this: ask, want, do. But it is always important to hear yourself, your body and not tolerate what you do not want. Otherwise, the result will be, and life and happiness - no.

When we have a family and do not want to let go of adult children, to see them as an adult man and woman, this means that you were, perhaps, happy, but from a deficit. That is, you were a parasite. And it is important for every person in this world to live happily himself, can you imagine what the world will be like when everyone is happy? And not because he plugged his hole of pain for a while, but because he learned to be happy, courageous, open. The world will be different only then.

And for this you need to experience pain, failure, disappointment and not shut it up with something, but boldly look at your loneliness and reflection in the face at any time and do something only when you really want it, realizing “in what process I am in general now. All this and much more can be learned in psychotherapy. Today the world has everything to satisfy our needs.

P. S. I cannot write for the whole world. This is too huge a layer. I highlighted my niche and wrote about it. Therefore, I ask those who do not agree to realize that this is not your article at all and is not about you. As a reminder, I can copy and paste this message if I have not gone through to the end of the article with my eyes.