Personal Boundaries

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2024-01-12 20:57

I wrote down this exercise a long time ago, posted a description on my website and forgot about it. After a while, according to the statistics of visits, I saw that the article is very popular and in terms of views it confidently competes with the traditionally visited pages of descriptions of coaching tools. The surge in attendance began around mid-2013 and continues to this day. Probably, the topic of "personal boundaries" is really relevant.

As the practice of working with groups shows, this fairly simple exercise can provide a lot of interesting and useful information.

Exercise is used most often in two cases (purely from my own experience). First: if the topic of the group's work somehow touches on the concept of "personal boundaries". Second: as a final exercise, especially if the group is large in terms of the number of participants and there is a need, at least symbolically, to end the relationship (or stage of the relationship).

In the first case, the exercise is carried out as an "ordinary" exercise, among other exercises (if any), its course and results can be discussed with the group and interpreted. In the second case, there is no discussion.

1. The exercise can be carried out in the presence of an important and indispensable condition: a large room - the more, the better. If the room is small, you can go outside or into the hall / corridor of a larger area.

By free, spontaneous choice, the participants are divided into two equal groups. They stand in two lines, facing each other. So that there is only one participant opposite each. In the best case, from shoulder to shoulder of the participant in the line should be at least one meter.

2. The facilitator explains that the exercise is conducted in complete silence and shows gestures that can be used:

• "Palm from itself" on an outstretched hand - a sign "Stop"
• "Palm to yourself" on an outstretched arm - a sign "Come to me"

Each participant has in his arsenal: silence and two gestures - calling and stopping. Then, according to the announcement of the leader, each participant in one line, using only the named gestures, "invites" and "in time stops" a participant from the other line, standing opposite him.

The task: to listen to your feelings, to determine a comfortable distance for yourself to another participant, and with the help of a gesture - stop him at the place beyond which "you cannot go".

It will turn out something like this …

3. The exercise must be carried out in "both directions", ie. repeated once more, but a second time - "invite and stop" the participants of the other line.

Example: