2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
Someday we will say goodbye to you.
The relationship ends.
Ends in separation or death.
It doesn't matter how.
Relationships are finite.
This is a natural and inevitable stage in their development. Sometimes falling into the strong bonds of codependency arises the illusion of their infinity. But this is just an illusion.
Curiously, there is no denial when parting in an intimate relationship. There is pain, powerlessness, longing.
There are memories.
You remember the smell of a loved one, voice and body temperature. At this moment, it covers with pain. And unlike codependency, pain is not because it is scary to remain lonely, incapacitated, and has lost the "meaning of life." This pain arises from the fact that a very valuable and close relationship will never be repeated.
Life goes on at the same pace. With the same colors, people, work and deeds. But already without inspiration. Without that special thread that binds you. This thread was woven from shared phrases and habits. From your jokes and familiar intonations in quarrels. From the time you spent in a special way. From successes and failures. From your strength and weakness. From the moments for which you are very ashamed and which you are proud of. This microcosm is lost forever.
With the end of the relationship, some of the functions that the partner did perfectly well are also lost. Not that you cannot perform these functions, no. He just made them much better and easier. With the completion, you will no longer be able to admire how he deftly, almost perfectly, “watered the flowers”.
The most important thing in a breakup without codependency … The pain can be experienced. And along with it, an insane thirst for life appears. Give meaning to other relationships. Relations with family, friends, colleagues. You can wonderfully accurately feel the value of any little things. Suddenly it becomes clear that only Mom knows how to cook exactly “that borscht”, a friend of “that coffee”, your beloved looked at you “just like that”.
Isn't that the value of a relationship? One person changes your whole life. Sometimes giving it meaning or flavor. By setting the direction and speed of movement. Opens eyes to obvious things.
Relationships create life. Not the other way around.
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