DO YOU NEED TO BREAK YOURSELF TO GET A NEW EXPERIENCE FOR CHANGING IN LIFE?

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

How to change what you want to change and not exhaust yourself with changes

If you want to get what you don’t have today, you must do what you haven’t done before. If you want to get a new experience, it makes sense to move in its direction. If you didn’t know how to do something and are trying to master it, most likely, it will require a significant expenditure of energy. And this may not be just an effort, but real violence.

So where is the line between the vital effort to live and the will?

Imagine that you are not a very sociable person, you work from home, you rarely meet people and you have no close friends. You are saddened by this state of affairs, you often look at more active acquaintances who easily make acquaintances, and would like to change something in themselves in order to stop living as a hermit.

The first mistake is that you may want to live like someone else. Like your neighbor, for example. And this is really impossible. The neighbor has a thousand acquaintances, a hundred friends, it is hard to find him at home. You and your neighbor live on different planets. Then it may seem that it is impossible to change yourself.

The best thing that you can do in this situation is to answer yourself the question: how would I like to get what I do not have? Who can provide this and by what methods?

There is good news

You don't have to become the life of the party right now and hang out with dozens of new people every day. And if you stop trying to be like someone else, and try to figure out what exactly in communication you are missing, then it may become clear that one or two friends would be enough for you. The scale of the "calamity" and expected changes will narrow and your goal will begin to look real.

Of course, you will have to perform a certain set of actions in order to meet new people. And initially, for this you will need to use a volitional effort - at least to leave the house and approach other people. But this is, roughly, like a starter in a car - it is needed only to start the car, and then other mechanisms are turned on, which are more like a vital effort.

To start, you need will, and then - see for yourself

Probably, there will be a need to “break” oneself at the very beginning of changes. Begin to act differently from the way you usually act, but, for example, approach the person first to meet you.

But then you can always choose - you are comfortable or not, you want to continue or prefer not to communicate, you are interested with this person or it makes sense to look for someone else that you want to change in this contact.

And this is already a vital effort, not breaking

You don't have to break yourself when the process is running, but rather reveal yourself in the process.

There are many situations in life when you need to adjust yourself a little. It can be a diet for health reasons, time management for a business. As a rule, such a breakdown does not lead to global changes, you change locally and pointwise in the place to which attention is directed.

So, if you force yourself to play sports, it will not be effective until you find yourself in it. Until you find your direction and what you like about sports. If you force yourself to go on a diet, it is also unlikely to improve your health the way doctors write. But if you choose a diet according to your preferences and find exactly your balance, it will have much better results.

It's not the skill itself that's important, but how you feel about the experience. Any skills are realizable, but whether they will change your life depends on how much you find yourself in these skills.

This is precisely the reason that does not lead to the desired changes and the success of plans. You can draw up any program of changes for any person, you can offer hundreds of methods to achieve goals, you can attend all trainings and get dozens of directions for development, but this will not change anything. Until you find yourself in what you started.

It is impossible to live life by will. By will, you can only try something and start the process.

What happens next is best when it comes to vital effort.

Don't break. Try it. Change with a thrill.