2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
I rarely watch TV. I rarely comment on public holivars. In all my statements, I am extremely careful with the facts - this is what the profession of a journalist taught me. I perfectly understand the consequences of rash actions - this is what the profession of a psychologist taught me. So if I am writing an official comment, I am doing it very carefully. As a professional, I understand very well that any event has at least two sides, and the media can easily "spin" any action, directing public opinion in the right direction.
However, there are situations when I have one and only, quite specific and unshakable point of view. This is my attitude towards violence - anyone - regardless of who it is directed at.
Twice a week I accidentally saw broadcasts where young women suffered at the hands of their husbands. Both eminent experts were subjected to humiliating interrogation. Quite worthy famous people in all seriousness argued about what it is possible and for what it is impossible to beat a woman. And the worst thing is that both victims explained with blue eyes: “No, well, he didn’t beat me before, of course. So, it used to be a slap in the face or push."
Dear ones, the first and the last rule: any violence - physical or psychological - is unacceptable. Dot. This is out of the question. This is a given.
If your partner raises a hand on you, this should serve as a signal to flee. If you are systematically insulted and humiliated, this is not love, not partnership, and most certainly not a healthy relationship. Yes, I urge you to leave such unions. Yes, I am calling for “breaking families”. Because a family is a place where a person feels needed, protected and happy. Everything else is a compromise.
I am far from white and not fluffy. I personally coined the term victim-raising (victim victim, praise to praise) and always openly declare that we are responsible for our actions … There is nothing more stupid than respectable independent people pouting and refusing to admit the obvious. It is forgivable for children to blame others for their problems. When it comes to adults, I don’t believe in stories about “it’s itself it accidentally happened.
And yet, in situations of domestic violence, I am always on the victim's side. I don't care what she did, what she “provoked” or #the bitch deserved. Is there something that doesn't suit you? Leave, talk, go to therapy, go to court, but keep your hands on. I am scared and wild to listen to famous people who form public opinion, in all seriousness coming up with excuses for illegal actions. Nobody has the right to hit another person. This applies equally to both men and women. Any violence is illegal. And it should be part of our culture.
Anyone who has struck once will definitely do it again. Don't believe it. These people don't change. All promises, gifts, candy flower compensation, tears and kneeling are nothing more than manipulation. If you are faced with domestic violence, if you have nowhere to go, if your life or the lives of your children are at stake, do not expect to "get better." It won't.
If you want to maintain your physical and mental health, do not be afraid to ask for help. I understand perfectly well that our system is far from perfect. And yet we have crisis centers, helplines, free psychological counseling, decent police officers and honest doctors.
Remember that you are responsible for your own life and the well-being of your children. Violence must be nipped in the bud - while you still have a chance to change something. There is always a way out. You just have to have time to use it. Take care of yourself.
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