2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
Today I hit my head twice on a branch in the yard above the path. Hurt. For the third time, she ducked.
The husband even offered to cut it down. I felt sorry - the drain on it will be full.
Yes, and a reminder here - about the "rake".
"Rake" is an indicative "tool" of a person's attitude to life
This is when not a separate plot, but when the "plot" is repeated with enviable regularity. When you say to yourself: "Never again!", But you get bogged down again. And when it hurts in the end.
If you manage to catch some recurring events in your life - for example: "lucky" for scoundrels or losers.
For example, all men turn out to be "goats" and do not marry, or "all women want money from me" or "there are some hysterics."
And at the same time there is a certain typicality of experiences - for example: fell in love / offended / angry - then, congratulations, you have figured out your favorite "rakes".
Now you have a choice: continue to "dance" on them, or find a more suitable "dance floor".
It is difficult to part with loved ones. Even with your favorite "rake".
Why is that?
The answer is simple: in this way some need is satisfied.
For example, there is a need to improve men's self-esteem rather than marry or take care of rather than marry. Everything is very individual.
What to do
First. Understand what kind of need is satisfied in this way. That is, ask yourself: "What do I really want?"
Second. Satisfy her differently or differently. In a healthy way. And not when "first on the forehead, then on the forehead."
If we are talking about self-esteem, as in the example, then work to increase self-esteem, and not build a knowingly losing relationship - the dead end of which is pain and disappointment. If we are talking about care, then learn, for example, to give yourself this care yourself at first. And then there will be no such sensation - "thrown and thrown."
The process is slow. Requiring sincerity, truthfulness with himself. It is not always possible to "figure out" the very root causes. Sometimes "rakes" are greetings from childhood.
I like the parable, which clearly demonstrates the unconsciousness of our actions sometimes. There she is:
LARGE AND SMALL MEAT
The young wife was preparing her first family dinner in her life. She cut a small piece from a large piece of meat and cooked it separately in a small saucepan, and put a large piece of meat to stew in a large cauldron.
The surprised husband asked her why she did this.
“I don’t know,” she replied, “I saw that my mother always did that, so I too..
But the young husband became interested, and after waiting for Sunday lunch at his mother-in-law, he asked her:
-And why do you cut off a small piece of meat from a large piece and stew it separately?
The mother-in-law shrugged her shoulders:
-I didn't think about it. My mom always did that, so here I am too …
The newlyweds and the mother-in-law went to visit their grandmother, who lived outside the city and asked her the same question.
-Hmm … I didn't think about it. I do this because my mother always cut a small piece of meat from a large piece and stewed it separately.
So, there is also a great-grandmother! But if her answer is the same, then the history of the tradition will remain a mystery forever.
The newlyweds, mother-in-law, grandmother - all came to visit their great-grandmother, and since she was completely deaf, they had to shout for a long time in her ear.
Great-grandmother asked again:
-BUT? What? BUT?
And she could not understand what was required of her.
- Why?! - shouted all three women, - why did you always cut off a small piece of meat from a large piece and stew it separately! Why?!
-And what are you talking about? - finally realized the great-grandmother. “Because I didn’t have the money to buy a big pot, and mine wasn’t big enough and the whole piece of meat didn’t fit into it.”
If the "rake" is identified and a decision is made to change your life scenario, but you need to be prepared for the fact that from time to time it will still be "brought in".
My god yes this is the same rake
could not see in the dark
come on again
yes those © Tsai
It takes time for new habits to take root.
But it's worth it!
As a result, you get the freedom to create your own life.
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