2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
If you want to arrange your personal life, both men and women want to see their version of the ideal partner next to them. But they are often deceived, illusions are shattered against reality, like Venetian glass. And then - the questions "why did this happen?", "How could this be?" and the apogee, the crown of disappointment: "WHERE WERE MY EYES?".
In order to avoid disappointment as much as possible, it is worth paying special attention to certain points:
- on the relationship in the family of a potential partner (for short, hereinafter referred to as PP), on the relationship between mom and dad (most likely, the PP will repeat the family scenario in his relationship).
- on the relationship of the PP with the mother (men will build relationships with their women in the same way, and women will treat themselves the same way as their mother treated them);
- on the relationship of the PP with the father (women will also build relationships with their man, look for a likeness of a father, and men will treat themselves in the same way as their father treated them);
- on the values, habits, goals in the life of a potential partner, are there any fundamental differences (for example, if you want to have many children, then you should not associate yourself with a childfree partner).
All these observations are not a sentence! For example, if a man grew up in a family of alcoholics, it is not at all a fact that he himself will become addicted. If a woman grew up in the family of a single mother, it is absolutely not necessary that she herself will not be able to maintain a relationship, she will begin to show signs of misandria. But to take a closer look in these cases is worth it.
There is something else that a man and a woman should think about when looking for happiness in their personal lives:
- Do I love myself the way I would like to be loved by PP?
- Do I take care of myself the way I would like a PP to take care of me?
- Do I pamper myself the way I would like to be pampered by the PP?
- Am I worthy of gifts, attention? (for women)
- and am I interested with myself as much as I would like to be interesting (s) to my potential partner?
- Do I respect myself as much as I would like to be respected by my PP?
- Do I feel worthy (worthy) of my PP?
And further:
- Do I respect members of the opposite sex in general?
- what do I want from a partner?
- and what I want from a man - does it not resemble what I would like from my father? Am I trying to impute men as my dad? And what's the difference between being my dad and being my man? So do I need a daddy? Or do I need a man? (Questions for women. Exactly the same questions for reflection - for men, only with an orientation to the mother);
- What do I want from a relationship? What are they for me?
- and am I trying to plaster the inner emptiness with a relationship?
- Do I want to give in a relationship or just take?
- Can I afford to take in a relationship or do I suppose only to give?
- and what is the ultimate goal of my imagination in a relationship?
- what am I ready to give to the PP, so that I can be happy at the same time?
Finally:
- and whether this particular person suits me here and now, with such an appearance, with such a character, with such a worldview? Do you have any thoughts to remake your partner, knock it out for yourself, tailor it to your own measurements?
Because ANY attempts to remake another lead to the collapse of the relationship. Nobody is obliged to change for the sake of another! The sacred right of a person is to remain as he is and to count on a kind, respectful attitude towards himself from the person who is ready to accept him exactly in this form! If you are not satisfied with a particular person as he is - or accept him as such, or your right - to find someone who will fully respond to your sympathies.
With this approach and asking yourself such questions, the chances of success in your personal life grow exponentially! Ask yourself these questions. Perhaps something will become clearer about yourself and about your expectations about the relationship:)
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