Fear And Horror Of Uselessness

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

The worst epidemic is not fatal diseases at all, but our feelings, and one of them is the feeling of being unnecessary (needed). A terrible thing, really terrible in its scale and in its mimicry, which takes the form of socially successful projects. And in general, in this epidemic, the word "project" is perhaps the defining one. Children as a business project. Just imagine that by demanding something from a child or an adult, we thereby want the manifestations of this person or some kind of material wealth, moreover exactly those that we need, but at the same time, we absolutely do not “want” this person as a person, in the sense that he simply is, that this is what we, in principle, can want, just be. And at this moment this ruthless epidemic of unnecessary is shown. We see it everywhere, in how phone models change every year, and the old ones are no longer needed, in how they give birth to children so that there is someone to work and provide for parents in old age, in how we desperately seek recognition and praise on work, in how we want to change something in someone without accepting what is. Unnecessity is something more than just the fact of belonging and a sense of community, it is a gateway to the area of belonging to the world, when I see not only the world of objects around me, that is, the perception of the world from the point of view of the subject, but at the same time, the possibility of admitting that I am one of many objects without awareness of my subjectivity, it is to be everything and nobody at the same time in the context of object relations. If mom did not give us this feeling of being needed, we may not really have it, and then we will do whatever we want to get away from this feeling, we will either disappear, aphids pretend to be an object of universal desire, or make us need, or else something.

Unnecessity is a very deep thing in its essence, it determines a lot in our personality. This road leads us to the most secret depths of our subconscious, where the most terrible scenarios of the realization of stress relief at the peak of the experience of one's “non-existence” for a significant other are played out. And as a rule, these are really scary and sad stories full of anger, wandering like ball lightning in the void of a lonely soul, looking for someone to kill with his powerful discharge of evil. Here the image of ball lightning seems to me to have surfaced for a reason, because, at the same time, it is terribly scary and, at the same time, it is a symbol of nascent life in conditions of complete chaos. This evil that we want to throw out on an object that does not need us, which has not instilled in us a feeling of being needed (in fact, by emasculating our ego), it can transform with its energy our self-awareness from unnecessary to necessary, i.e. in the end, leading us to the discovery of that love for ourselves, which we did not see at the very beginning.