Loneliness Is An Inner State

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

Today many people want to be anywhere and with anyone, just not to be alone.

When there are interesting substitutes for communication in the form of tablets, computers, phones, quality communication with each other is lost. People stop striving to find common ground, to hear another, and at the same time to feel themselves in communication (which is important). It's easier to open your phone and go online. Physically, there is someone with us. On the emotional, spiritual level, we are alone.

Loneliness is an inner state. We alone fill ourselves or empty ourselves.

Probably, many have heard this phrase: “we are born alone, we live alone and die alone”. Many years ago I was furious at this statement. It couldn't take root inside me. How is it? How can this be, if I was born, and there was a mother, a doctor, nurses nearby. A person does not live in an isolated society and interacts with others. I could still agree with dying.

Today I say: "Yes, we are alone!" And this is the loneliness of our inner experiences. Our feelings and emotions are so individual that no one can understand us 100%. And that difference in misunderstanding is loneliness.

At birth, the child goes through what the mother is not able to experience. Not because she is a bad mother, but because at that moment she has her own process and she has no memory of her own birth. She can remember this only if she is immersed in hypnosis. And then, her way of birth may differ from the experience of her child. A man in a family cannot feel the role of mother and wife. And a woman does not feel how her husband interacts with her and the children, what is his logic and internal mechanisms. Children are completely insensitive to the actions, words and thoughts of their parents. And it turns out that due to the lack of identity of living roles in the family, almost everyone at least once felt a touch of loneliness.

Loneliness is wonderful because it gives you contact with the inner world. When a connection with what is happening inside us is tuned in, we begin to understand our own reactions, emotions, feelings; how they arise and what to do with them. After that, we become more reverent to another person, because we know that his inner world is as gentle as ours.

The person who is constantly fleeing loneliness is actually even more lonely. Yes, he is surrounded by people, but he must fill 50% of the void of loneliness himself. The more he compensates for loneliness through interaction with others, the more he puts his inner world at their disposal. He becomes addicted to people who can fill his life with their presence. They give him the opportunity not only to be less lonely, but also to be loved, accepted, important and valuable.