How To Decide On Partner Birth

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

Nowadays, few people can be surprised by the experience of joint childbirth. But, nevertheless, for many couples, and especially for future dads, deciding whether to go to childbirth together is fraught with a lot of worries and fears. Women often look for arguments in order to persuade their spouses, wondering how to get around the still widespread beliefs that “this is a woman’s business” and it is completely unnecessary for a man to be present at the birth of his child. Is this so, and how can you still make an informed decision without resorting to manipulation and resentment?

WHY DO YOU NEED A PARTNER IN LABOR?

Before answering the question of whether to go into a partner birth, it is important for spouses to understand why, in principle, the presence of a partner is necessary. Many dads sincerely do not understand how and how they can help their wife, who is in the process of birth. And it is extremely important for men to be aware of their functions, to understand how specifically they can be useful, to feel not just an observer, but also a participant in what is happening.

Helping a loved one to a woman in childbirth consists of several directions. First of all, this is direct physical assistance: help to get to the hospital, bring things, call a doctor, supply water, escort to a chair, do a massage. It also happens that childbirth is complicated, and then, in the case of a cesarean section or during medical manipulations of a woman in labor, the newborn baby is handed over to the dad, and physical assistance is provided not only to the mother, but also to the baby who has just appeared in this world.

You should know that a woman in childbirth is very vulnerable, she needs peace and safety, comfort and reliability. It is these needs that the future dad can provide for her, being around. Since childbirth, as a rule, takes place in an unfamiliar place for a woman in labor, this always creates a certain stressfulness of the situation - a new room, unusual sounds, doctors in white coats. And the adrenaline released during stress blocks the production of hormones necessary for childbirth, which can lead to attenuation of labor. Therefore, the spouse can help to get used to a new place, find out all the details of the process from the medical staff, arrange the necessary things, call a doctor. Also, importantly, the future dad can participate in making important decisions if the birth process does not go according to plan (for example, persuading a spouse to agree to stimulate labor, if there is a need and a doctor's recommendation).

The generic process for a woman is, in a sense, a state of trance. And extraneous questions, the need to strain and delve into the surrounding reality can prevent full immersion in it. It is extremely important that the spouse can minimize the stress associated with exploring this new place and take on the function of "contact with the world": go to the delivery room together, answer the obstetrician's questions (for example, about the peculiarities of the course of pregnancy, about the availability of necessary documents), find out where the pharmacy is and the like.

And, of course, one of the most important functions of an accompanying dad is emotional and psychological support. Sometimes a woman in labor only needs to realize that her husband is next to her, and this already gives her the opportunity to relax and rely on him. Also, tactile contact with a beloved man can become extremely important - hugs, kisses, strokes, massage, holding a hand. The tenderness and warmth of the spouse will contribute to the release of oxytocin in a woman - the main hormone in childbirth, which is also called the hormone of love and affection.

I will also note that partner childbirth is not only about helping mothers and babies. It is also a tremendously significant experience in the life of the Pope. To witness the birth of your child is an incredibly powerful experience, contact with your strongest feelings: fear, anxiety, tenderness, admiration, amazement, your own powerlessness, delight. Sometimes this experience even changes a man's worldview, his attitude towards his spouse, and his views on fatherhood. Therefore, when deciding to accompany his wife at childbirth, the future dad should be aware that he is doing this not only for his wife and child, but also for himself.

WHAT IS IMPORTANT TO KNOW BEFORE GOING TO LABOR TOGETHER

One of the most important conditions when deciding to accompany your spouse in the hospital should be the psychological readiness of the couple in general and the man in particular for partner childbirth.

First of all, it consists in being aware of your role and tasks, and also - at least approximately being aware of what the couple expects in the process. To this end, many parents-to-be attend special classes to prepare for childbirth, where they not only receive theoretical information, but also acquire practical skills (learn how to breathe, various massage techniques, etc.). However, for minimal awareness of the process, it may be quite enough to independently study the available information (books, articles, video lectures).

Another important criterion for the willingness to go through the joint experience of the birth of their baby is the absence of pronounced negative emotions in the spouses in relation to this process - excessive fear, disgust, shame. This applies to both partners. Indeed, sometimes it happens that a woman, due to any of her convictions or attitudes, feeling awkward, shame, or simply not understanding how and how her spouse can be of use to her, does not want to invite him with her for support. Well, and, of course, the feelings of the future dad should also be reckoned with: if a man is overwhelmed with too many prejudices and fears regarding partner childbirth, then you should not press, manipulate and take offense. However, do not forget that excitement and anxiety are normal emotions in connection with an upcoming important future event, especially if the couple is expecting their first child.

It is also advisable for future parents to be well aware of the motives for which they decide to go for a partner birth. It so happens that a woman persuades her husband to accompany her only so that he can see “at what cost children are given,” and began to appreciate her even more. Or he wants him to "suffer" too. Of course, such motives are not the best guide in making such an important decision, and in general, such arguments do not influence relations in the best way. It is important for a woman to voice her need for a spouse and a desire to live this experience together, but always remember that a man's willingness is important here. It should be realized that the decision should be made jointly and in a balanced manner, taking into account the needs and capabilities of both partners, without offense, manipulation and threats.

Some parents-to-be fear that the experience of partner childbirth may negatively affect their relationship (in particular, the sexual component). It should be understood that childbirth (as, in fact, the birth of a child in general) is, of course, stress for both spouses. And no one will ever be able to predict how everything will go. But parenting in general is also stressful and a test of the strength of partnerships. If the relationship was negatively affected by the participation of the pope at the birth of his own child, then they were no longer very strong and reliable.

Partner childbirth is neither heroism nor fashionable trend. And certainly not something shameful, "not masculine", secret. This is just a natural continuation of intimacy, trust, support, unity in the relationship between a man and a woman. Living together to give birth to your own child can be a unique experience in the life of a couple, a shared adventure - exciting, sometimes risky, but wonderful.