I Am Ordinary

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

I guess. But I didn’t believe it.

My credo was: if you do, then better than others. The best.

I considered my results to be an ordinary event. Others take a steam bath, study, go for a long time to their goal, and I am the chosen one. Bang - and into the queens.

Supermen have everything cool: tasks, problems, results. This is the boy's version of "the princess does not poop". It's not with my hands to take a steam bath on trifles. Let others "get on with their lives," Superman does it playfully. Sets himself lofty goals, strains super powers and eh! - makes the impossible. It's still good to smile tiredly.

“Here the audience is applauding, applauding. Finished applauding"

A powerful drug. A thick mixture of his omnipotence and someone else's adoration, fear, envy, admiration … Breaking is also powerful. You have to win constantly … And the motor began to malfunction.

I am ordinary. A balding, graying middle-aged man. Many even call you. The belly has grown over there …

I start to choke after 5 minutes of running. And a bad chill drop slowly creeps down the back. I don't get sick in my head, I am always strong and I can do anything. It is worth driving a wedge into this installation and my whole life seems to go to hell.

I know how it is. You stay on the surface, flounder with all your might, splash. And at some point, boull - and the head is already under water. Deeper and deeper. The world darkens, people begin to seem angry and callous. They conspired and make me worse and worse. Words are saturated with poison. I'm not drowning - they are drowning.

And thoughts! The head seems to be bursting. Normal means none. Such people are not liked, not admired. If you scream, jump, no one will respond. So people thrown out on an uninhabited island wave to the ships, and they majestically sail by. Nobody cares, nobody is going to help me. The world is indifferent.

I was once a motor sportsman. I remember my last race. It was pouring rain. We jumped, bent the tie rods and drank in a puddle of water. Somehow we almost got there with clenched teeth. Anticipating the finish in spite of. And suddenly the motor sneezed for the last time and died. To not give up! Rain, cold, front wheels clubfoot, as if they were embarrassed. And we are with the navigator, pushing the warped war machine. Rrrraz. Another rrraz! More … We were late - the finish was not counted. For the first time in 4 years. All efforts are wasted. There is nothing to calm yourself down "But we …". Did not work out. At all. The dank and sleepless night that followed was one of the most bitter in life. Then I decided to hang the helmet on a nail.

Any sympathy is humiliation, encouragement is a mockery. Hide from them, run, disappear! But where to run from yourself? Hide under the covers, wrap your arms around your knees and howl …

The performance ended, the applause died down, the spotlights went out. I washed off my makeup, took off my suit. And I realized that I can't just live.

How do people live? Where do they get their strength? What are they happy about? We have to re-learn the simplest things. As in the cartoon "Volt", a stray cat teaches a superhero dog to get simple dog pleasures: running after a stick, leaning out the window, asking for food …

There are lively and warm people around. They laugh and hug …

And I, as in childhood, looking downcast from afar, sweating and afraid to take a step forward.

Take me with you? One is cold.