After The New Year's Ball

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

Just think, did not have time to make a noise of fun, but people went in for sports. I would be more happy for them if I didn’t know that by February already, but that there, by February, by the 10th, everything will “resolve”, and by February there will be an influx again. Year after year. Same.

The magic pendel and the desire for the coveted harmony are blown away, in contrast to the "figures", back in January. It is in this month that there are always many "newcomers" who are looking for a locker number to undress for a long time, and try on a hat, complaining that it has faded and stretched out. They lay out the accessories too carefully, counting them in their minds, so as not to forget something, well, and…. in the pool….

In the pool, they try to swim in pairs. Taking one track. At the same time, the hats are worn so that the bangs are in sight, as are the painted eyelashes. And these ladies are without glasses. Do not spray on them, otherwise the paint will flow. At the same time, the ladies rush to the sports track, not wanting to share the extreme with the children. They are overtaken, diving, by the left and right athletes swimming like sharks. Those who wear glasses and those who cannot be discerned what gender. Sometimes ladies without glasses are sprayed, where can they go without it? And then these newcomers stand resentfully at the side and talk. Actually, talking on the neck in the water, and this event ends. Well, another circle along the path, dodging the spray of "sharks". Then a shower, home and with a clear conscience a hearty dinner, because (overheard in the locker room) "water takes a lot of energy."

Of course, having walked like this for 10 New Year's days, without losing weight even once…. And, by the way, did the girls want this when they came to the pool?

Here's what I mean. About the pleasure of the process. The fact that if you go to some kind of result from under the stick, then the result will not be a joy. Maybe because the result is a moment of life, and the path is a process? And is it "unprofitable" (from the point of view of our psyche) to push so hard for a moment of glory?

Although, you know, there are several opinions. I know the opinion that external pressure allows you to achieve results many times greater and faster. The statement is not unfounded. I know a coach who literally takes money just for the fact that he controls and “scolds” people who “fit in” into his success training course. It is called: "external pressure". Moreover, many people like this method. People are sincerely grateful to this coach.

It turns out that there is someone much more authoritative than us, to whom we must (agree) obey. And they are even ready to pay money for the opportunity to obey. It turns out that people already know about themselves that on the 11th they will "merge", as it happens every year. And those iron gloves are required.

What about our own borders then?

See for yourself. We want to lose weight, but we go swimming. Although, apparently, we do not like. Although, many sources write that swimming does not help you lose weight. Although, there is no time for the pool. Although we know that we will give up. Why not "lose weight" in another way? Those that are pleasant. Dancing, skating, gym? Why deceive yourself "well, I swam, but it doesn't help me." Well, why not say that "yes, I took a walk, sat in the water, some kind of exercise happened."

We are on our own, avoiding unpleasant things in our lives. We pay for "external pressure", we pay for a subscription to a fitness center, we pay for brand new tracksuits, which then hang in the closet. We do not want to pay with our presence in the moment. Your participation in your own life. We are like in a joke: "Thank you, Lord, for taking the money!" We want to pay off our life. Money. Do you know that fitness centers sell tickets more than three times than the gym can accept? And all the same, all the halls are half-empty.

Everyone wants the result. The process does not "want". What is the main question here? Is it that we do not understand our needs well (and here the question of boundaries stands squarely), or that we really think that by buying a subscription and a uniform, as well as signing up for a support group, everything will work out by itself?

I have no answer (I am ready to discuss, I will be grateful for your reasoning), but there is a hint from the universe, so to speak.

As I was getting dressed, I heard a monologue of a lady who told me that her door had broken down at home. And now she went to the pool. Spat on everything. And she went. Apparently, the lady was so bursting with pride that she really wanted to share this event. But the door didn't give me peace either, so she continued, looking straight into my eyes: “Do doors just don't break, do they? Truth? Doesn't that mean something? What do you think it could mean?"

Being in the position of "spreading with cream" I blurted out almost without thinking. Not a session, in fact. On an equal footing, here as in a bath. “Caring bustle, right? And they gave themselves out to everyone for the new year? And you are always available. Why do you need a door? Anyway, they kick it open into your soul, so the real one flew off its hinges to draw your attention. " The girl's lips suddenly trembled. Nobody puts her in anything. Neither daughter nor grandchildren. But to the question “what to do”, when I mentioned “take care of yourself”, she brushed aside: “What about the door now?”. Well, here's a science for me. Psychological tricks "take care" here is not in the cashier. As well as the discussion of the violated boundaries of the personality.

The idea of fuzzy boundaries is also suggested by the fact that the lady did not want to go to this center. I wanted to go to the next one with a sauna. Yes, it's expensive there. As it turned out in our conversation, it is cheaper there. She took the figure for a year as a figure for a month. And she complained that the sauna would be very useful to her. And here she doesn't seem to like it. Well, who's stopping you, hand over the subscription you just bought, and go right now to where the sauna is? Question.

There are also a couple of "why" questions: We make a wish to be slim, and then, clenching our teeth, we go to drive off the fat. We want to be happy, and again we are going to overcome something there. Maybe that's why the results that we have conceived are not being achieved? How long can you stand over yourself "with a stick", forcing yourself to do unpleasant things? So it won't take long to get sick, or somehow “merge” with such events. Are there not enough things to do? If so, then life will add worries. Everything for you just to avoid the hateful gym.

What to say about those people who are slim and athletic? I will say: "hunting is worse than bondage." They like what they do. I like healthy eating and exercise. Judge for yourself. If you like, well, for example, watching a movie. Or a TV series. So you will adjust your entire schedule, so as not to miss it. So will sports people, pushing the rest of the activities, build a schedule so that they can keep up with the gym. Their training is not a leftover principle, but among the important things. And carrots for dinner are like a delicacy, not a punishment.

Getting pleasure from the movement … Not so new. As a child, we all ran at breakneck speed! Really to lose weight? And what did you eat? Yes, if you just show yourself at home, they will leave you to supper, but with a full belly, what tag? Really we would exchange dinner for volleyball? We chose pleasure as children, didn't we?

It is the choice of where to spend the time, the time of our life, that makes this time really ours. I wish instead of a conclusion, we all do it consciously.

Your Irina Panina.

Together we will find the way to your hidden possibilities!