Traumatics And Techniques For Making Dreams Come True

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

Before I started therapy, I was interested in esoteric practices such as "wish fulfillment" (Sviyash, simoron, the film "The Secret", Abraham Hicks, transfer, etc.) - I read books, forums, listened to seminars. I wanted to understand why it works for some and not for others. Moreover, three out of a thousand people work for them, two of whom simply convinced themselves that everything is going as it should, although in reality nothing changes or even flies to hell. And very many people note a strong deterioration in their affairs and situation in their lives after the start of the practice.

Now, after years of therapy, I have versions as to why.

Firstly, traumatics * usually have great difficulty understanding what they really want. It turns out, as in that joke: "I wanted the approval of my mother, but received three higher educations." The traumatic psyche is twisted around the fear that the trauma will repeat itself, and at its core has a chronic sense of the insecurity of this world and the insecurity / danger of the people inhabiting it. Accordingly, almost all the true aspirations of a traumatized person are associated with getting safety / protection / love / support (see “getting mom's approval”), and not with cars, apartments, positions, men / women of the whole life.

Secondly, among traumatics, everything that is connected with "want" is internally imbued with a network of prohibitions, many of which are not realized. For example, the traumatic "orders" himself fame and success from Mrzd. He thinks that they will make him happy, but in fact hopes that fame and success will protect him from the toxic shame of his inadequacy, with which he has lived for as long as he can remember. Even if his desire is fulfilled, it will not bring the desired effect, because in order to get rid of shame, one must work with shame, and not look for ways to climb from it to the tallest tree.

But that's half the trouble. The main thing - this particular traumatist may well have a deep subconscious fear of success, because, for example, as soon as he leaned out and bragged in childhood, he received disapproval and rejection from his parents. Or his successes exacerbated a parental sense of his own failure. Or sister / brother started to sausage. The traumatic's subconscious associates fame with the fear of rejection by his family and subsequent death from rejection. And when the traumatic begins to step on the gas and rush in the direction of his target, his instinct for self-preservation presses on the brake and begins to twist the steering wheel. In the best case, the traumatic will give up the case, in the worst case, it can end in psychosis and the hospital.

Even such a seemingly safe request as "I want good health" can come into conflict with unconscious attitudes such as "I am comfortable for my mother and only needs a sick person, if I become healthy, I will lose touch with her and die."

From my point of view, the first thing worth doing to a traumatic person if he wants to change his life is therapy. Now I can successfully do things that I could not even dream of before the therapy. And this is not the result of a miracle, but the result of discovering and releasing your inner resources tied in trauma. In addition to freeing up the resource, therapy makes it possible to get an adequate, reality-based idea of who you really are. Most traumatic people see themselves solely in the reflection of the distorted mirror of the family in which they grew up (like Bern - "an alcoholic like your daddy", "mother's ruined hopes", "marriage of the wrong sex and wrong character").

I would also like to say about introspection. Before therapy, I read a lot of books on psychology and constantly delved into myself. I believed that thanks to in-depth introspection, I know absolutely everything about myself. After the start of therapy, it turned out that I knew practically nothing about myself. I only knew what I had learned about myself in my family, and only what was “allowed” to know by the rules of my trauma. For example, it was not allowed to know that I was capable and I have talents in order to be successful - my successes should not offend my sister, for whom my birth was a shock and destroyed her world, in which there were only dad, mom and her. So my experience is that introspection without therapy is walking in a narrow prison pen without giving a real idea of yourself and your life history.

To summarize … Without really knowing yourself, it is impossible to understand what you really want and what to order from Mrzd in order to get the desired effect. Not knowing what blocking beliefs live in the subconscious, you can break all your legs about them and arrange for yourself extensive retraumatization, ordering what is "forbidden" to order. The most reliable way for a traumatic person to significantly improve their life and bring it in line with their true desires and needs is therapy. If, after therapy, you really want to order something from Mrzd, then you can do this based on adequate knowledge about yourself and your internal characteristics. True, it is unlikely that you really want to, since in general life will develop in the right direction anyway.

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* By traumatism, I traditionally mean people who had a trauma between the ages of 0-7 and / or had a developmental trauma.