About The Stages Of Development Of Love

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

Love is the beginning and the end; it is the end for something old and the beginning for something new; the end of life for one and the beginning of life for two. There is no need to be afraid of this end, because after each end there will necessarily come a beginning; without beginning there is no end, without end there is no beginning …

Feeling love is a complex and difficult task, during which seven successive stages can be distinguished, through the passage of which one soul learns to sincerely and deeply love another.

These are the stages (tasks):

1. see a spiritual treasure in another person, even if at first you understand what you actually found;
2. the stage when one runs away and the other catches up, a time of hope and fears for both;
3. the stage of unraveling and awareness of the complexity of the relationship;
4. the stage of trust, which allows you to relax, find peace in the presence of another;
5. it is time when the two share both future dreams and past sorrows, which marks the beginning of the healing of old wounds;
6. an appeal to the heart of another to sing a new life;
7. fusion - spiritual and physical.

And now a little more detail.

At first all lovers are blind. They do not yet understand that they will have to test all their strengths, capabilities and abilities. But there is one important thing to remember: it takes a lot of effort to get something truly valuable. It is easy to dream of ideal love and at the same time do nothing - it's like anesthesia, from which you can not wake up if you do not grab onto something truly valuable, which is not yet understandable.

Sometimes it seems to us that we are able to love while our illusions in relation to love have not died yet. But in fact, a lot has to die: illusions, unreasonable expectations, the desire to gain only the best at all costs.

Relationships often break down when they move from the stage of crazy love to the stage when we already see a real person, with its pros and cons. Then fantasies are replaced by relationships that already require a more serious return, and you have to call for help with all your skills and wisdom.

The escape and chase phase is the time when lovers try to realize their fear of the cycles inherent in love. This is the time when everything in your head is confused, when you desperately want to hide, and your heart pounds not from what you love and beloved, but from animal fear. It is not difficult to love the pleasant, but in order to truly love, you need to become a hero who is able to overcome your own fear. It is clear that many go through the stage of escape and pursuit, but, unfortunately, there are those who repeat it over and over again. But those who truly want love consider what they fear and, paradoxically, fear is replaced by confidence and surprise.

If we create love, then, despite our fears and fears, we want to see everything in integrity and want to touch the ugly in ourselves and in the other.

The one who freed himself and the other from the fetters, learned patience, learned the art of waiting.

At the stage of trust, the lover returns to a state of innocence, to a state where he is all full of desires, hopes and dreams. Entering this state, lovers obey the forces of their own soul, those that possess faith, trust and deep innocence.

As you become aware that all your life you have carried love in you, but have never really cognized it, the soul takes root deeper and more obvious. A tear rolls in, which is a symbol of the fact that something else should arise and be born that one can share with another - a spacious and immense heart.

The heart is a psychological and physiological center that allows us to love as a child loves - completely, without the least touch of cynicism, self-defense.

By giving our heart to another being, a new life, we move into the realm of feelings. This can be very difficult, especially if we have been hurt by disappointment and sadness.

It is very valuable when you create something valuable due to the fact that your loved one is near and believes in you, due to his spiritual interest in your work, your project, your subject. This is an amazing phenomenon.

The last stage, bodily and spiritual fusion, will take care of itself and will come when it is needed.

To make love we dance with death. There will be showers and droughts, there will be stillborns and newborns, and something new will be born again. To love is to learn the steps. Making love is dancing. To make love is to merge breath and flesh, spirit and matter: one penetrates the other.

And it is unquestioning that there is an immortal connection between souls, which is difficult to describe, and which is even difficult to believe, but which we deeply feel when we love!..

(Based on Clarissa Pinkola Estes's book Runner with Wolves. Chapter Skeleton Woman)

Love you!

Your psychologist Irina Pushkaruk