Development Stages. Action Stage (6 To 18 Months)

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

So, let's continue. Stage of action (from 6 to 18 months)

Let me remind you that the concept of age stages of development by Pamela Levin, developed in the theory of transactional analysis, according to which the child at each stage solves certain developmental problems, preparing the transition to the next stage.

Pamela Levin distinguishes the following age stages:

• Stage of existence (0 to 6 months)
• Action stage (6 to 18 months)
• Thinking stage (18 months to 3 years)
• Identity and Strength Stage (3 to 6 years)
• Structure stage (6 to 12 years old)
• Identification, Sexuality and Separation Stage (12 to 18 years old)

We have already discussed the stage of existence (from 0 to 6 months), now let's move on to the Stage of action (from 6 to 18 months)

Stage of action from 6 months to 18 months - positive perception, positive stroking conditional, two "yes" to one "no" - that is, prohibitions only when it is life-threatening

It is important not to interpret behavior - awareness and development of reflection instead of imposing your experience - that is, in general, evaluativeness leads to the formation of a "false I"

“When you cannot rely on those people who care about you, the child has a deep sense of distrust. The world seems dangerous, hostile, unpredictable. Thus, the child must constantly be on guard and control the situation. no one can catch me when I’m not alert and hurt me.”(Bradshaw, 1990) Observe people who seek to interact through the intellect rather than through the senses. These are the ones who usually come to therapy and talk about emptiness, who rarely realize that they have no contact with their own body, who feel like a frightened child in the adult world, who are afraid of their own impulses and who find a strong need to control themselves and others.

What is reflected in adult life?

CHILDHOOD PROBLEMS

• Passivity, dependence
• Non-initiative, refusal to explore the world
• Anxiety, the child can easily
• cry
• Ease of self-harm
• Poor muscle coordination
• Slow learning
• Hyperactivity, asthma, allergies

CHALLENGES IN ADULT LIFE

• Discomfort when you need to take care of yourself
• Unawareness of body or feelings, frequent trauma
• Over-adaptability, lifelessness, lethargy
• Difficulties in motivation, quickly get bored
• Solving problems by "fighting" or "running away"
• Using fear to hide anger
• Hyperactivity, migraines, obsessions

The question to which the answer is: "Is the world reliable?"

The child's motto at this stage is "Do it!"

The task of this stage: to develop a balance between trust and distrust, to learn to distinguish between situations and people who can be trusted completely, from circumstances in which you need to be careful.

During this period of his development, the child begins to move - to roll over, crawl, walk. Thus, he begins to explore the world, using all his senses for this, through touch, sight, smell, taste, sounds.

This age is the source of any initiative. The task of the parents is to support the initiative - to give different toys and objects for research and to make sure that the child does not harm himself. “Make the room where the child is, comfortable for the child, not the child comfortable for the room” (D. Clarke) It is pointless to scold the child for his actions at this stage, because he still will not associate punishment with his deed. And the result of such a decision, with a high degree of probability, will be the absence of desires in undertakings, the fear of everything new in adult life.

This is the time when the child decides that it is possible to trust others, that it is safe and interesting to explore the world, that you can trust your feelings, be aware of your knowledge, be creative and active and receive support while doing all this.

Child's tasks (developmental tasks)

• Explore and feel the world around you
• Develop sensory perception using all senses
• Signal your needs; trust others and yourself
• Continue to build strong attachments to parents
• Getting help in difficult times
• Understand that there is a choice, and that not all problems are easily solvable
• Develop initiative
• Continue to solve the development problems of the previous stage
• Uses all senses to explore the world around them
• Shows curiosity
• Easily distracted
• He wants independence, but with the ability to call the teacher when he needs
• Begins to use words in the middle and end of the stage
• Continue to create a loving and safe environment for children.
• Protect the child from injury.
• Continue to provide your child with food, nurturing touch, and rewards.
• Say two "yes" for every "no."
• Provide the child with a variety of sensory experiences (massage, music, peek-a-boo games and pies, pots and pans, cubes, soft toys, toys that make noise, etc.).
• Refrain from interrupting the child whenever possible.
• Refrain from interpreting the child's behavior: "You like looking in the mirror." Instead, call the child's behavior: "Yulia looks in the mirror."
• Repeat the sounds the child makes
• Talk a lot to the child
• React when a child starts a game
• Take care of your own needs.

Typical child behavior

Helpful parenting behavior

Harmful parenting behavior

• Do not protect the child.
• Limit the child's mobility.
• Criticize or shame a child for research or anything else.
• Scold or punish.
• Expect your child not to touch "valuable" items.
• Expect your child to potty.
• Ignore the child.

What to do?

It is necessary to do everything that is suitable for babies from 0 to 6 months, as well as:

• take with you to the grocery store
• let you help sort the laundry and load it in and out of the washing machine
• let the washing machine start button press
• dig in the garden with mom
• paint with mom with finger paints
• draw with paints on each other's faces, there are specials. kits for this, it is better not to use gouache or paint each other into clowns with lipstick
• build a den out of cushions, blankets, chairs and other materials at hand
• make a gift or a postcard with the child for the second parent, grandmothers, family friends
• running around between parents (especially good if there is no affection with one of the parents): dad is squatting at the beginning of the room, and mom is squatting at the end of the room, and the child runs into dad's outstretched arms. Dad catches him (with joy, with gentle words). And then mom is waiting for him with open arms and the child rushes to her
• the game "mirror" - the parent begins to play in the reflection of his child - to copy what the child is doing, try to get involved most and copy not only actions, but also emotions - to see the world through the eyes of a child
• put on the same thing for two - for example, wrap yourself in one scarf, one jacket for two
• allow to eat from your plate, feed mom or dad
• roll on the neck (after the child has learned to sit)
• dance together
• study yourself and each other in the mirror together
• look at pictures, books, street together
• draw yourself for the kid to watch
• allow eating from the parent's plate, sharing food and drink

SUPPORTING MESSAGES FOR EXISTENCE

These messages are especially important from 6 to 18 months, for 13-14 year olds, for people starting a new job or entering new relationships, for people starting to learn new skills, and for everyone else.

• You can explore and experiment, and I will support and protect you
• You can use all your senses to explore the world
• You can do anything as much as you need
• You can know what you know
• You can be interested in everything
• I love how you take initiative, grow and learn
• I love you when you are active and when you are calm

EXPRESSION OF RECOGNITION

Assertions

Recognition for doing well starts at six months and encourages people of all ages to do well.

• Great job
• I like the way you did it
• Much better, keep it up
• I like your hairstyle
• Thank you for taking the papers
• You are great (mom, dad, son, daughter, teacher, worker …)
• You are a great carpenter
• Oh, you read fast! Impressive!
• Amazing drawing!
• I'm surprised at your progress
• You are the fastest runner I know
• You play great music
• Perfectly planned!
• You are great (mom, dad, son, daughter, teacher, worker …)
• I like the way you own your voice
• You think excellent
• You are definitely smart
• thanks for the gift
• I like the way you listen
• I heard that you did a great job. Congratulations!
• What you said is very interesting
• I appreciate your support
• You are a good friend
• You got me thinking
• You know how to deal with difficulties
• Thank you for your patience
• I'm proud of how you did it
• Great results!

Misconduct messages should be given from 18 months and up and encourage people of all ages to do better. These messages last a lifetime.

"You are an important person - this is how you can become better!"

Messages about what they did badly often sound like accusations. Examples:

• You don't make enough money …
• You spend too much …
• Don't stick your nose in my affairs …
• Clumsy!
• You forgot to close the door …
• You're late again …
• You look casual …
• You stained the floor …
• You forgot my birthday …

THERE IS NO SELF-RESPECT HERE

Messages about what went wrong can build self-esteem if they respect the other, show that you care enough about them to set boundaries, and encourage them to win. The messages that behavior must be changed are given with love: Don't do it … because you are important. Or they are given respectfully: Don't do it … because it could hurt you or another; you can do it better. Or they are given in such a way that it is determined who is feeling: Don't do it … because I don't like it; do instead … The tone of voice should be respectful or loving, not sarcastic. Examples:

• When you forgot my birthday, I got upset. Will you give me a birthday present?
• Don't fail maths - you won't be able to retake in the summer, because we will go on a trip. Study for an hour every evening and hand over!
• When you interrupt, I get confused. Let me do it my way.
• This is the third plate you broke this week - you must be growing fast.
• It annoys me that you are late. You are an important member of the group. Do you want us to reschedule the meeting for a later time?
• Don't wear these pants to school; they are dirty. Dress clean.
• Don't bring dirt to the floor. I just washed the floor and I get angry when you bring the dirt. Wipe it off.

Write down the ways in which you acknowledge your family members.

Which of the following are you doing well, and which would you like to improve?

Formulate self-sustaining messages for existence.

Was it difficult to remember when you used them the last time?

Based on the training materials of Vladimir Guskovsky.