Cheating Husband With Girlfriend

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

In the work of a family psychologist, I regularly deal with stories when it happened cheating husband with a friend of his wife (even with her sister), the wife of his own best friend, a neighbor at the entrance, the mother of another child from a kindergarten / school where his own child goes, a work colleague. These stories are outrageously banal. It is clear that cheating husband can be with anyone and whenever you want, if only there was a coincidence of two factors: the technical possibility of personal communication with another woman and her moral readiness for intimacy with a married man. But, if a married man has money and general success (or at least the appearance of it), the likelihood of such readiness for another woman will be very high. But that's not what we're talking about now. Talking about what when it comes to cheating husband with the woman he personally knew a long time ago, a logical question always arises: “Why cheating husband happened to this woman, and not to some other? Moreover, exactly at this time, and not a year earlier or a month later? Indeed, why? After all, he personally knew her for many years, and nothing had happened before?

Explanation options cheating husband, in fact, a lot. Most often:

- 💡 the man has grown in career and income, has become very attractive;

- 💡 his wife neglected herself outwardly and did not provide her husband with sex;

- 💡 something has changed in the life of the very woman with whom the husband had previously contacted without any hint of intimacy: there were problems with her husband, she herself began to be successful, began to invest in her appearance, changed her image, etc.

- 💡 conditions have arisen for more frequent and personal contact between a man and a woman (a common project, a common hobby, assistance in some matters).

There is another remarkable circumstance in this list, which, in my estimation, accounts for at least 30% of all cases of cheating with women who are well-known to men up to this point:

The wife herself drew the attention of her husband to that woman, just with whom her husband's betrayal took place in the future.

I will make a reservation right away: I do not at all strive to justify the cheating men: Like, it’s not my fault - my wife herself made me think about it! No and no again! I just want to inform respected women about such features of the psychology of men that can help reduce the likelihood cheating husband.

The fact is that ordinary men at normal times are extremely inattentive … Not only may they not remember the birthday of their parents, wife and children; more often than not, they do not even look at those women with whom they contact in a common company of friends or at work; in any case, they do not perceive them as a sexual object. If just such an assessment did not happen immediately at the time of the first acquaintance (that is, the man at that moment of time and so had sex that suits him), then in the future the man perceives this woman as a “wife’s friend”, “work colleague”, "A friend's wife", "a mother of someone else's child", "a neighbor", "just a woman", etc. That is, as a kind of "just a person." And if you do not take special actions, then the relationship between a man and a woman will remain so, if not forever, then for a very long time. After all, a man's thinking is conservative and not flexible.

And here a dangerous feminine trait comes into play - the desire to raise one's self-esteem either by belittling the authority of another woman, or by discussing her problems. Being in a common company of friends, relatives, coming to her husband at work, attending his corporate events, many wives sin as follows. They say something to their husband, like:

- Dear, pay attention to how that blonde girl dressed up in stages (the wife of someone from the company or an office employee)! It is immediately evident: he really wants sex! And she is clearly ready to give to the first comer! What a disgrace!

- Honey, look at this star of your office! Immediately visible: a walker and a slut! How she herself is not ashamed to dress and behave like that!

- Dear, an employee of the sales department looks like a corrupt woman! Where is your boss looking ?! And where exactly is it ?!

- Darling, pay attention: that woman from your department goes to work in stockings! And on purpose, as if by chance, demonstrates them. Decent girls don't wear stockings to work! (You don't take a taxi to the bunshop!)

There can be many examples of such appeals. Their result is the same and sad for overly caustic wives: The husband turns his attention to a work colleague or someone's wife, whom he knows well before, and suddenly sees a Woman in her! And he begins to want her sexually! And then it just happens cheating husband.

Men often notice other Women at the behest of their wife.

It is clear that when criticizing other women, wives count on their husband's praise in their address, on an increase in attention to their own person. But, everything is as usual: they wanted the best - it turned out as always! Unfortunately, the wives themselves, at this moment in time, do not realize that by focusing the husband's attention on another woman, focusing on her sexual attractiveness, promiscuous behavior or problems in relations with her husband, they are doing themselves a disservice. After seeing the feminine principle where he had not seen it before, a man may subconsciously or consciously begin to reach for this woman. And when they stretch, one day they can reach … and it happens cheating husband.

The wife's criticism of other women may be perceived by her husband as a hidden sexual recommendation.

Roughly similar is the scheme when a wife or herself asks her husband to help some of her acquaintances, relatives or colleagues in solving some problems. Or he gives permission to the husband when he himself asks his wife for permission to help some other woman in her troubles and hardships. If a husband actually begins to be useful to another woman and thereby becomes more intimate with her, he can cause such a wave of natural human gratitude on her part that it will strike a sexual spark between them, and there it can already happen. cheating on her husband.

Because the male role of a female helper and savior is in itself very sexually attractive for a woman and exciting for the man himself. A kind of lover hero, who starts by fixing a tap and a pipe repairman, and ends up in bed. As it went, but with humor, one of my clients noticed, who cheated on his wife's best friend, after the wife herself asked him to help her lonely friend make repairs in the bathroom: “I was told that her tap was leaking, but it turned out that the form of a man in underpants, who wields a hefty tire iron under her bathroom, it flows all at once … . The scheme, when a man helped a woman, and he was hugged and kissed for this, then the correspondence began, and it all ended in violent sex, is very common and extremely dangerous, and cheating husband not far away. Wives need to be neat here three times. Because the beginning of personal communication between a man and a woman almost always leads to a personal relationship. From personal communication to cheating husband - just a couple of steps. Remember this!

Family psychologist Andrey Zberovsky.