2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
Stage 1
Notice the feeling that torments you. Paradoxically, sometimes it is impossible to identify the feeling. Sometimes you know you are hindered by shame, guilt, or anger, and sometimes you don’t even notice. You simply replace the feeling with some action, such as smashing the dishes, so as not to feel angry. Or you have insomnia so you don't feel anxious.
If the feeling is painful and intense, it is easier to block it than to face it.
The first stage is extremely important, because, having lost sensitivity and not understanding what is happening to you, you will very soon lose your taste for life.
Stage 2
When you notice an unpleasant feeling, it will seem like your quality of life has deteriorated. Now all this has to be handled. Previously, you did not feel ashamed or simply did not come into contact with other people so as not to know about it. Previously, you did not suffer from guilt, but simply did something constantly. Therefore, the second important step is to legalize the feeling - to give it the opportunity to stay and live in you.
Any feeling has the right to life and is legal. Any feeling performs a specific function, feelings - heals. They are designed to change your life for the better, so it is important to give him the opportunity to exist, despite the fact that you want to escape from awareness and very quickly.
Stage 3
The moment you realize a feeling, do not run away from it and legalize it, it is important to look around and see if there are people with whom you would like to share this feeling by telling about it. Most likely, you will realize that you are afraid or unpleasant to talk about the feeling, but deep inside you will notice a signal that it is still important to tell you. This is not the case when it is better. Once you've gone through two stages, it's important to move on.
Try to find people with whom you would like to share this.
Here you need what is called. This is when you talk about a feeling to someone in person, looking into their eyes. And notice what happens to you when you talk about your feelings. Here is the place where all miracles can happen. It is not even important what you say about feeling, but how you relate to it. After all, speaking of fear, you can at the same time notice gratitude towards another person who is listening to you, or self-confidence.
This is a key necessary step
When talking about fear, you may begin to notice a feeling that you are stronger than you thought, or a feeling of joy. Noticing something new that lies against the backdrop of a toxic feeling is a very important moment that you can begin to experience bodily as well.
In this place, you need to be as attentive as possible.
The emergence of something new in contact will constantly transform you and your feelings. For example, you may notice that your gratitude has become more than fear.
So, step by step, you will have a new option - not only to feel something else, but also to do something in a new way. Freedom of action and the ability to manage a contact. For example, before you were paralyzed by shame, you can now communicate and ask questions. Ask if people think of you what you think they think.
At that moment, you get the feeling that you are the center of your life. And you can control it.
To manage does not mean to control, but to notice and treat in such a way that it is comfortable and useful for you.
Recommended:
PROTECTIVE MECHANISMS OF PSYCHE OR HOW TO HANDLE WITH REALITY
We are starting a series of publications devoted to such an extensive topic as the defense mechanisms of the psyche. In this overview article, we will talk about the concept of defense mechanisms, their typology and functions. In future publications, we will dwell in detail on specific defenses, describing in more detail their purpose and representation in the mental life of a person.
“I Don’t Care About Your Feelings. And I Lived For Many Years Without Any Feelings. Why Should I Change Now ?! " Case From Practice
Oksana, a young unmarried woman of 30 years old, turned for psychotherapy due to a general feeling of emptiness, the loss of any meaning and a vacuum in values. According to her, she was "completely confused", did not know "what she wants in life and from life.
THE INTERNAL CRITICIAN AND HOW TO HANDLE IT
In general, in popular psychology, it is customary to scold the Inner Critic. I myself from time to time write something abusive about him, I am sinful. And that is to say, he sits in his brain and whines, with varying degrees of awareness and persistence:
How To Deal With Unpleasant Colleagues - Whiners, Liars, Aggressors?
I happened to participate in battles on both sides of the barricades. I can easily recall a dozen cases when I showed intolerance, aggression, and whine towards colleagues. Therefore, I will begin my recommendations on how to cope with yourself.
Criticism And Critics: How To Handle Criticism Consciously?
In today's article, I will have to deprive some of us of the tool that we use without thinking. We use this psychological tool as self-defense, unconsciously. We use it without realizing that this method of self-defense, which it is, stops us in development and exacerbates robotic functioning in life.
