2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
You become an adult suddenly. For example, when in the morning, opening your eyes on your, say, 50th birthday, you see the routine. No flowers, no surprises, not even chocolates with a festive bow. Only routine. Because for a wife (or husband) this day is no different from the rest. She will buy a present only in the evening (well, she did not have time!), She will come up with a menu for dinner later (maybe). But no - the delivery works.
You become an adult when, under the chimes, instead of the coveted hooks for a spinning rod, you receive an unsigned postcard and a standard set of shaving foam, only in a holiday package, from your son who rarely comes. Because the holidays are just days on the calendar. Because he never learned to notice the sparkle in the eyes of others, especially those close to him, people.
Childhood ends when you glue a tiny box according to instructions all night long to fill it with your wife's favorite sweets, and in the evening you find a two-hour work in the trash can without getting a banal "thank you". Because you are "adults and you don't have time for children's games."
Adulthood hits the day when, for his anniversary, you give him tickets for two to the Czech Republic, which you have wanted to explore together for so long. And then he turns your romantic journey together into a beer exploration with three friends he teamed up to keep you company while you wander around town alone.
You grow up when on a sunny Monday morning you hear in the dynamics "Your position has been canceled. Thank you for being with us for the last 13 years!". And you do not have the strength to answer, because you have just returned from a funeral and all that could bring you back to life was to carry out your usual duties.
Childhood falls off your shoulders like a light shawl the minute you wake up on the fragrant lawn of the park and realize that your friend is lying next to you, with whom you went for a walk at the wrong time and on the wrong road. And you are sure that you could have prevented this by persuading him to go a different way, but you will not return time ago, as well as a friend.
Childhood ends the minute you suddenly, suddenly, like a tub of cold water, admit to yourself that somewhere along the way you made the wrong choice. Because there is no more strength to believe in a fairy tale. Believing the best in people - no more patience.
This is such an illusory adulthood, in which fear hides behind a smile, and behind silence - the confidence that you, like a heart, like feelings and the universe, are one of the faces among the stream, and your fulfillment is interesting only to you. Imaginary adulthood smells of hopelessness and pain hidden under the dust of everyday life.
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