2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
Quiet, calm, absolutely not problematic children - mother's joy. Such children do not bring unnecessary trouble, they are one hundred percent obedient and predictable, comfortable in every sense. Mom said to play means we play, we have to eat - we go without a murmur whatever we give, sleep on schedule and in general not a step from mom
Children tend to grow up, and they bring this "convenience" into adulthood, they do not know how to go through life differently, they were taught that way.
From practice: the most surprising thing is that such adults with the “comfortable child” syndrome have very scanty and gray childhood memories; one gets the impression that they were not children at all.
In adulthood, the “comfortable child” actively reaps the benefits of his convenience, while continuing to be comfortable for the people around him.
In the material world, which usually happens with comfortable things, we simply quickly get used to it and stop appreciating, and sometimes even noticing, their presence in our life.
The same situation takes place in human relations.
The “comfortable child” is, as it were, a priori doomed to play secondary roles in adult life. Inability to take initiative, problems with adaptation in a dynamic society, framework and functioning according to the rules of life clearly laid down in childhood, an underdeveloped body of desires, lack of specific goals, plays a cruel joke in adulthood. One of the options for the development of events may be loneliness.
Not taught to establish long-term contact, to adapt, to be active, to take their place “under the sun” in a social group, emotionally withdrawn children, and then adults, turn out to be socially lonely, hostages of their “peculiarities”.
Adults with “comfortable children” syndrome have been dependent on the parental family for a very long time, hence the problems of a personal nature, how to build their own family, if the family already exists “Mom, Dad, Me”. They simply have no need to separate, they have not been taught this.
From a certain moment, adult life implies the ability to make independent decisions, the ability to take responsibility, to be aware of the consequences and causes of their actions, “comfortable children” can never grow up to this moment internally.
It's good if you understand that something is wrong in life, that you want communication, you want high-quality life changes (although which ones are not yet clear), then a long conscious road of growing up begins, gaining new and vital experience that has not been received and not passed in childhood. And it's good if there is a person nearby who can guide, suggest, support, it is very unlikely that it will be a mother, she could but could not help to get this experience then, in childhood.
You can and should look for a helping hand; it is almost impossible to go this way alone. Finding such a person is already the first colossal step towards a new life.
Recommended:
About Those Who Were Deprived Of Their Childhood Early. And Adulthood Too
There are some children who matured too early. They grew up because there weren't any reliable adults, parents they could rely on next to them. Drinking, unpredictable, sometimes drunk, sometimes sober dad. A mother who left at the age of 5 to sit with her baby brother, and punished if her daughter did not cope well enough with her "
Initiation Ritual - A Pass To Adulthood
They talk a lot about the child, but they don't talk to him. Francoise Dolto If your child is arrogant and self-confident, but doubts himself all the time, is ruthless, but good-natured, greedy, but disinterested, trusting and at the same time cunning, stupid and genius at the same time, then you have a completely normal child.
"Comfortable" Children Are Not Very Comfortable To Live
- Did you call? - Mom sits down opposite Maryivanna and looks attentively. - Yes, sure! Are you Vanya's mom? I have a serious conversation with you! - I'm listening to you attentively, - my mother smiles affably and looks at the teacher in a gray knitted sweater, clearly not new, but neat to the creak.
Unmourned Childhood Grief And Adulthood
Valya came to me on a cloudy late November day. She herself was like that day. The drooping shoulders, the pale, sad face, in the eyes of melancholy and hopelessness. Thin hands lie limply in my lap. The girl said that for six months she had no strength for anything.
Criteria For Adulthood And Responsibility?
What criteria is used to determine if a person is old enough? To be responsible for your life and actions is too general a criterion, besides there are many irresponsible people around. Who needs this growing up if a person feels quite normal at the same time?