2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
Let's remember the male psychology of dating. By the very course of dating, men almost always check the ladies "for availability." They find out whether you are an "honest bum", or you can be "friendly with a distant sight," without fear of becoming a "cuckold" one day. Therefore, if you have far-reaching goals, you simply must eliminate all male doubts!
To do this, you should definitely do three things
- - create many different difficulties at the very beginning of communication;
- - fight off the one you liked from his male "pack". (I especially draw your attention to this. A man in his company and alone with you are two completely different people! And you need exactly the one who is with you …);
- - not engage in sexual relations at least during the first month of your intercourse (ideally - two to three months).
Attention! complication, first of all, should concern not the very moment of acquaintance (!), but the continuation of communication after its completion. Otherwise, all men will simply run away from you!
Practical advice from a psychologist:
First. Don't agree to instantly reshape your schedule for a new acquaintance
If you are easily "led astray" and you immediately "be tempted" to go to a cafe, bar or restaurant, follow your new acquaintance wherever he invites you, immediately go to the cinema with him, the man meeting you, most likely, will think something from this "bad list":
Five conclusions of men in the event that at the time of meeting the girl immediately agreed to change her plans
Conclusion number 1. The girl is very glad to this acquaintance. Accordingly, she will very much want to continue communication and, in general, "desperately wants to marry at least someone" … And if so, then, "pressing on this point", you can literally "twist ropes" from her and force her to whatever the given man wants …
Conclusion number 2. At the time of their acquaintance, this girl did not have any particularly important things to do. Speaking in masculine terms, one can suspect that she was “filming” at that moment in time, that is, she went out into a public place specifically to get to know each other. So she is "windy"!
Conclusion number 3. If the girl so easily agreed to change her plans for the sake of communicating with one unfamiliar man, it means that she can do the same if someone else "drives up" to her … Including after she has been friends with that for a couple of years who is meeting right now …
Conclusion number 4. In exchange for her "complaisance", a girl can demand large material costs from a man. Somehow: first, take her to a club or cafe, then give her perfume and a watch, then pay for her mobile phone, and, ultimately, rent her an apartment or find a job …
Conclusion number 5. This girl is clearly “approachable” and completely “unreliable”. Investing care, attention, tenderness, money and time in it is simply pointless. A waste of time, a guaranteed image of a "cuckold", offensive "jokes" of comrades … No, sorry!
Of course, all this is very sad and often completely does not correspond to the true inner appearance of a given girl or woman. But many men can no longer be persuaded - they are brought up this way by their more cynical friends and acquaintances.
However, not everything is so tragic! There is an exit! And he has three options:
Three options for the right start of communication
Option number 1. "Date with a little respite."
The girl politely transfers the offer of her new acquaintance "somewhere to go", as they say, "later."That is, she takes a certain time-out to “settle her affairs” (even if there is no trace of them!), And allows the man to see her only after a few hours.
Option number 2. "Date with a long reprieve."
The girl politely declines the offer of her new acquaintance “to go somewhere” and postpones the meeting for several days at once. So the girl creates a positive impression of a "serious and busy girl", and at the same time tests the patience of a new acquaintance and his interest in meeting. Call - good. If she doesn’t call, it’s also good: the girl timely freed herself from acquaintance with a fickle and unreliable person.
Option number 3. "Find me…"
The girl calls her name, communicates politely, gives a minimum of information about herself, but fundamentally refuses to give the phone number.
Instead, she says that next Saturday (any other day of the week) she and her friends will go for a walk to the park (shopping, cinema), walk the dog in a specific place, etc. etc. If a new acquaintance really wants to see her, let him come. There will be time to talk in more detail. And now, excuse me … Business, you know ….
As the author's polls show, all three of these options give very good results. The most optimal of them is "option number 2".
However, the choice is yours …
Second. Know how to properly apologize for being busy
Dear ladies! Remind you:
Men are, in fact, naive people who desperately want to be deceived by the very ones with whom they fall in love
Therefore, thinking at the moment of acquaintance: "Well, at least I could do it!" you was a very special occasion for you! Tell me that you yourself still don't understand how you decided on such a casual acquaintance! Tell me that you yourself did not expect this and, apparently, this is Fate! Tell me that in fact it is almost impossible to find out your name and phone number, and no other mortal on Earth will be able to do this! If you can prove to me that in fact you are an "impregnable fortress", I will become your faithful knight, who will be ready to die defending this beautiful and proud banner … ".
Since men are sincerely convinced that one of the main differences between "decent" girls and dishonest ones is that the former are always busy with something, and the latter are always "hanging out", one of the most important elements of a love acquaintance is … an apology for that that the girl is in a great hurry "on business" and that is why she can neither communicate for a long time at the moment of acquaintance, nor meet tonight.
Saying goodbye correctly is the most important element of a love acquaintance
During parting, the girl needs not only to show her new acquaintance that she has a lot of things to do and she is insanely busy, but also to demonstrate to him that for someone, but for him alone (in the form of an unheard-of exception!) She is still ready carve out an hour or two tomorrow or the day after tomorrow. If this girl is you, and you succeed, your new acquaintance will certainly be proud that he managed to break through to the heart of such an unapproachable beauty.
(Note: In addition, you have a completely legal opportunity to end a new relationship at almost any time, referring to the “wild rhythm” of your life, which you spoke about during your acquaintance. So a man who dislikes you will not be very offended to part and he will not constantly call you and say all sorts of nasty things …).
Here's a very realistic example of a good goodbye:
“Thank you for the fact that you were able to literally“tear”me out of the stream of daily affairs even for a couple of minutes! Usually I don't even have time to have a normal lunch … So, I am very grateful to you, and I beg you to forgive me for the fact that today I will not be able to keep you company. However, I enjoyed communicating with you and I will try to carve out time for you tomorrow or the day after tomorrow (at the end of the school or work week). If you call me tomorrow, we will try to negotiate with you. I would be very glad ….
This tirade has everything at once:
- - you avoid communicating too quickly and create the very "objective difficulties" that will make your new acquaintance think about you all the time and wish for a new meeting;
- - you flatter male pride;
- - you set the man up for the most serious attitude towards "a very responsible and always busy girl." He will perceive your meetings as some kind of "gifts", a clear evidence of your benevolence towards him and will try to answer you in kind;
- - you demonstrate your readiness to continue your communication when your life circumstances become more favorable.
This four-in-one expression of gratitude will be very helpful at the start of your relationship. I recommend using it.
Third. Never stop right away
If they are trying to meet you on the street or in a store, do not stop right away! As much as you enjoy meeting you, don't do it! Just slow down a little and chat for a while on the go. Walk together at least a hundred meters. It will be very useful in all respects: both for health and for the fate of your acquaintance!
Thus, you will show that you are “not like that”, that you are insanely busy, that the purpose of your leaving the house was not at all the desire to meet someone. At the same time, you will check the degree of interest in your person.
A person's intellectual level and ability to communicate are revealed literally in the first seconds of acquaintance. If a person is rude to you, behaves insolently and cheekily, lets go of vulgar compliments, make frank hints of sex, try to suppress you morally - do not stop at all!
Fourth. Do not talk to those who meet you from the car
Fifth. Artificially create small complications
Love is such a special behavioral program that was created by Mother Nature in order to overcome difficulties in communication between those new to each other people who are trying to create love relationships. Therefore, if you want the awakening of love, you should create difficulties and difficulties artificially. Here are just the easiest ways to do it in practice.
For example: # 1. During the acquaintance, do not give your number, take the man's phone, promise to call every other day, and call only the third. All this time, a man will only think "will he call - won't he call?"
Method number 2. For a while, do not give your phone number and meet only on pre-agreed agreements. Constantly overcoming those obstacles that will interfere with the relationship will make you treasure every meeting.
These are the “right” ways to create additional difficulties.
There are also “wrong” ones: lying that you are married, that you have a ferocious “tough” friend you cannot get rid of, that you are terminally ill, that you have a child somewhere, and so on. But I do not recommend using the “wrong” difficulties. Your partner's nerves may fail …
To create difficulties during dating and the beginning of communication is an amusing and more than useful business! Wanting to create a serious relationship, men always want to "conquer" … So let them win! In the end, it’s only good for everyone. Well, you help them! That is … "defend yourself"
Remark
Do not be afraid to create difficulties at the stage of dating and the beginning of your love relationship! All these difficulties will only add brightness to your nascent relationship, make it truly unforgettable!
Steel without hardening is just iron. Love relationships that have not passed the test are fragile and fragile. Only a common "crucible" of life's difficulties is capable of soldering two completely outsiders into a single team, united with one goal - to jointly achieve personal Happiness …
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