2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
Our life experience is very valuable and useful. It makes it possible to predict something, feel it in advance, think it over, calculate it. Also, experience is meaningful in that it gives knowledge. Knowledge about the world, people, own feelings and perceptions.
However, we often do not quite correctly use our experience. We use it to evaluate people. At the same time, we forget that we need experience in cognition and discovery of something new for us.
Have you noticed that a person communicates with you, but draws conclusions not about you?
These may be "accidentally" thrown phrases. Statements that cause discomfort and resistance inside, thoughts “this is not mine and not about me”, “why do they tell me this, how is it connected with me”.
Once at one seminar, the trainer said that when we meet a new person, we compare whether our life experience fits his, and whether they can coexist together.
This often throws a veil over our eyes. We form an opinion about a person, impose certain patterns on him, hang labels. From this moment, we cease to see a certain person in a person and do not know him at all. We begin to "interpret" and perceive it through the prism of our experience.
A new person is completely new in our life. Yes, he may be similar to our relative, friend, but there is no 100% match or similarity. Therefore, it is important to get to know him. It is not entirely correct in relation to this person and to you to make subjective conclusions. This is where you stop your acquaintance. You will not be able to understand why he reacts and acts in one way or another. You will not see his true intention in communicating with you in the actions he performs and the words he speaks. You will ascribe to him something that absolutely does not apply to him. It will seem to you that it is what your imagination, based on your experience, draws it. However, your idea is far from who the person really is.
Labels and our personal subjective opinions about people get in the way not only of them, but also of us. A person feels not understood, not accepted, not heard, feels a lack of attention to him. We also feel disappointment, misunderstanding, somewhere guilt, it seems to us that a person is not developing.
What to do?
Do not rush to draw conclusions, hang labels and attribute something to a person. And if an opinion has already formed in your mind, try to postpone it during the conversation. Left alone, analyze how your perception matches the behavior and words of the person
To get to know a person, always have curiosity, interest, curiosity to get to know him. Who is he besides your perception and subjective opinion. Communicate with him as if you have never had any experience with others
Each person is a person, individuality, authenticity. He has his own experience, with his experiences, results and conclusions. I also like the comparison of man with the universe. This definition describes the versatility of each of us and the absence of monosyllables. Therefore, it is hardly worth imposing any labels and templates on the universe.
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