2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
Such women (who always hold their heads high and think in the same way as in the picture) are called Strong. But what is the price of this power?
And the price is insensitivity … Hammering your feelings.. A living woman turns into an armor-piercing vehicle (in general, this also applies to men who behave in this way).
The question of the Force has always worried me, but not at the cost of suppressing my feelings. Reflecting on what is Power and how does it manifest itself?
The power is manifested in the fact that you can express your values in the world, even if they do not matter to others.
Strength in following your truth.. And what is it like with you? And how much is what is important to you manifested in your life?
The power is to be yourself (not to betray yourself) … Oh, but how difficult it is …
And for someone, a manifestation of strength will be the ability to stop the struggle and raise the white flag of the situation with which you have been struggling for a long time, but cannot cope.. And in order to resolve such a situation, you need to grow out of it … But this will take time … In the meantime, you will have to confess my powerlessness …
Scary, awful, uncomfortable from this, right? It turns out that you are not an omnipotent woman. It turns out that you cannot break the situation for yourself. It is not in your power … And yes, you are also dependent on the circumstances of life.. This is the truth of life - and you have to admit it. And if you don't want to come to terms with it, keep on fighting and see what happens in your life.
(How wonderful that we can choose! That it depends on us how our Life will unfold further! Personally, this gives me great Power and immeasurable Joy:))
To admit powerlessness - for me it is also about the Power of man.
But there is an important point here.
Recognizing his powerlessness, a person does not fall into the Sacrifice, but, at the same time, he ceases to imagine himself to be God. He is doing now what is in HIS POWER and what he can now influence. And what cannot be influenced - accepts.
For me, this is about some kind of balance in the relationship between Me and the Other, between Me and the Wisdom of Life.
And "influence" does not mean "bend". To influence is to do what you (at the moment) can do on your part, and after that you should wait for a response from the Other involved in this situation. And this answer may not be pleasing to you - and then you will also need to do something with this received …
I know, I know from my own experience how difficult it is to admit your powerlessness and surrender … After all, I really wanted to feel my Omnipotence. I wanted to be above God.. And I wanted this because inside me there was a huge feeling of insecurity - and, therefore, a lot of fears about my own insecurity. And in order to cope with these fears - I wanted to feel my indestructible and invincible strength …
And again, it is confirmed by my own experience: the external overcoming of life's difficulties does not heal the feeling of insecurity. And no matter how much the external force grows - if a feeling of insecurity lives inside - it will make itself felt..
Do you know why?
Because your need is thus still not satisfied.
You build up your strength in order to somehow feel your security in front of the world. But, in fact, inside of you your little girl (or boy) continues to cry, who (s) just longs to be protected.. She does not want to protect herself, but to be protected by someone more fearful and experienced.. This role for the child was to be fulfilled by his parents
Then the girl grows up, becomes an adult woman, but the unmet need of the little girl continues to live inside her. And then there are various ways of how to cope with what hurts.. And then there are "strong" women who stifle this painful need, leaving their unlived feeling of insecurity in the hard armor of detachment and insensitivity.
And if in business such power comes in handy, then close relationships and peace of mind will definitely suffer from this.
But just because no one taught that in order to cope with pain - you do not need to run away from it.. You need to meet with it just as you meet with any difficult situation that requires its resolution.
Our forefathers had other tasks and had no time for meeting their feelings. They had to raise the country. And there was no time for feelings. And there was no Human Value with his needs either.
But now we should be concerned with our feelings. Our needs should not be compromised..
And even if you are an adult aunt (or uncle), it is normal to want to feel protected, and not at all ashamed … And yes, time cannot be returned and you will not return to the past. And mom and dad will no longer protect you, even if it was your biggest dream.. But now you already have the strength to live this pain associated with your unfulfilled desires..
Take a sheet and, admitting, write down everything that you so wanted, but you did not get it. Write what will come from within - acknowledge your unfulfilled needs.
For example:
- Mom and Dad, I really wanted you to come to the kindergarten for me, but my grandmother came for me
- Mom, I felt lonely and defenseless and I so wanted you to just be with me
- Dad, you were not at home so often and I really missed you.. I did not feel needed.. but I wanted so much to be needed by you.. and so on.
When you write out everything that was inside you - you can get very tired - as it takes a lot of effort. If you're tired, take a break. Do yourself something supportively pleasant …
For some time more, the feelings raised to the surface will be with you - and this is normal.. In general, it is normal to feel. It means being alive …
Only by recognizing and accepting your feelings - you will gradually heal and get stronger, and the feeling of strength in you will become an order of magnitude greater.
P. S. And finally. Although I understand the utopian nature of this idea, some part of me still wants to be stronger than life. Because from the inner depths looms fear of defenselessness in front of unexpected circumstances of life (death of relatives, incurable illness of a child, etc.). And I want to prevent this in advance and know the ways in which this all can be prevented … And I really don't want to admit my powerlessness in front of such circumstances … But, no matter how bitter it makes me, I have to admit it too … After all, the fear of all kinds of losses very much limits us from living the fullness of our own Life.
To live, feeling (as for me) is about the Courage to Be … And this, for me, is also about the Force …
What is Power for you?
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