2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
From adolescence until recently in my life there was a cult of strength and control. I read many books and attended a lot of trainings, where they taught me how to do everything, run confidently towards goals, improve femininity and professionalism, show my best side, and if someone does not agree to quickly prove to him that he is very wrong.
And it would seem that all these and not only these super useful skills are very necessary in life. It's just wonderful when a person strives to be better, stronger, faster.
Completely unbeknownst to myself, I became a perfectionist., in which everything should be perfect, and what is not ideal, now we will quickly correct, grind. But it turned out that the surrounding world and the people living in it are in no hurry to correspond to ideals. Masterfully rehearsed techniques and clever phrases do not produce the impression as we would like - they cause neither admiration, nor love, nor the desired result.
Each time, faced with another failure, with the persistence of a tank, I continued to move towards creating my ideal in myself. A little more, I told myself, now we’ll practice it and tighten it up and get what I want. This passed year after year in a desperate race of self-development, but the desired remained unattainable.
A great discovery for me was the realization of my own powerlessness.
It turns out I can't:
- always be right;
- to know everything, to be able to do everything, to be always beautiful and cheerful.
- change a person's life if he does not want it;
- read the thoughts of another and meet his expectations;
- I have power over myself, but I cannot influence the reaction of another person;
- I can not grasp the immensity and shove the unpushy.)))
How much inner freedom I gained when I realized that I am not a superwoman. It turned out that if I tell another person that something did not work out for me, I don’t know something, but somewhere I feel confused and I’m scared and I cannot force myself to gather right here and now, instead of contemptuous ridicule, I saw a sincere smile, understanding and a step towards a meeting.
Now jokes about stupid blondes no longer seem to me to be discrimination. On the contrary, when someone is not afraid to look stupid, confused or funny and openly admits what is, this is honest and sometimes looks cute and charming. You can laugh at this together or be sad. In this there is a place for another person.
A true understanding of your strength comes when you become acquainted with your own powerlessness, because you begin to realistically assess yourself and calculate your strength
_
Thank you for your attention.
Best regards, Natalia Ostretsova, psychologist, psychotherapist, Viber +380635270407, skype / email [email protected].
Recommended:
Parental Impotence
"Dad, I have a problem …". A part of the text that pops up on the screen dramatically pulls out of your thoughts. My heart beats faster and my fingers tremble, revealing the entire message. "I had a fight with the teacher, he makes me call …"
Pit Of Impotence
Do you know the feeling of complete powerlessness? When not yet awake, but already tired. When fatigue is generally the only sensation that constantly accompanies. Feeling of depression, a kind of helplessness, lethargy and a little boredom.
Codependency And The Desire To Save As An Escape From Impotence
Sometimes I feel powerless. For me, this is one of the most difficult feelings to bear, because there is no energy here, but I certainly want to do something. Because from this intolerance and your own failure you want to run away anywhere: in anger, in guilt, in resentment, in arrogance - anywhere, but just not to stay here.
