2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
Anger. We used to think that this is something terrible and strong. For example, a strong cry, physical actions, the words of a wish in the thoughts "yes, for you." But, in fact, anger is more serious. This long-liver has settled well in human lives and every day eats and separates us from ourselves, from relatives, from people, from a happy life. Only us and anger are on the scales. And some part always picks up. But what …?
Anger arises in us for 2 main reasons:
Reason # 1- I do not have what I want (what is important now: health, money, relationships, the ability to understand something).
Reason # 2 - I have what I don't want (noisy neighbors, naughty child, my punctuality). There are no other reasons for anger in our life.
Very often, when we find ourselves in some difficult situations, we get angry senselessly. Without doing anything, remaining in anger and thinking that when we are angry with ourselves, we seem to receive forgiveness, others do not scold us so. Self-flagellation never does any good to us, nor to the people in front of whom we self-flagellate.
Anger at oneself takes many forms. The three main ones are:
1. Illness. When I am angry with myself, my body says, “I am dying. No problem. I'm starting to move in the opposite direction."
2. Loneliness. People cannot stay in a relationship with you for a long time, it is difficult to create partnerships. You seem to live in a family, but the crazy feeling of loneliness inside does not leave you. When we say to our souls: "I am angry with you," then in response we hear: "Well, if I am bad, then I should be alone."
3. Overeating. It sounds and looks like this: "I'm screaming food at myself inside." Statistical research confirms that when we are angry, we eat much more food than we actually need. We transmit not only with food. This can include "overeating" the news, flipping through the feed of social networks, communicating with friends, when after a conversation we cannot remember what he was about and no action occurs after the conversation.
Along with the forms of anger, there are three main mistakes in being angry with yourself:
1. I justify myself.
2. We punish ourselves.
3. We ignore ourselves.
What to do when you understand a mistake, have done something bad, thought badly? At this moment, we do not need to fight, we need to surrender. When we recognize, shifts and victories begin. In our minds, it is important for us to create an image of ourselves that communicates with his child and does not shout, talks about difficult things with his partner and does not shout. We all need wisdom.
There is a solution to how we do not get angry with ourselves. Our right self-love is to attack our anger against ourselves. For example, when you are late for a meeting, say: “May I be late for this meeting today. But let all the other people who are late now come on time to where they are going. And the remaining 20 minutes of my journey, I decide to accept the fact that I was late today. This is where it all ends. Next, you do what you need to do: read a book, meditate, pray for your children and your partner. When we find ourselves in an unpleasant situation, don't use the anger trap. Anger not yourself is not spiritual work. This is tossing wood into a flaring fire that burns your home. The more I hold on to my anger, the more it gains weight.
It is very important not to get addicted to the idea that you are a bad person. Get addicted to the idea that you are cool, kind. Get used to thinking good about yourself. Many people know how to live and what to do.
From the book of wisdom by Master Shantideva:
“If you can do something, Why is he sad?
If you can't do anything, You can't help sadness."
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