2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
And when he is faced with such pain, he has a poor alternative - either to experience it, or to do something about it. Sometimes it is so intolerable that a person stops feeling it, but at the same time, automatically stops feeling all other feelings - love, joy, affection. Total anesthesia that destroys living things.
Then victimization takes place. Paradox - not wanting to experience the pain of violence, a person becomes a professional victim.
How does this happen?
Having lost sensitivity, a person ceases to notice aggression directed against him. A person does not notice what is happening in contact with other people, and he has no ways to deal with excitement and anger. Therefore, he continues to perform actions that provoke the trauma situation. This is how the victim of sexual violence can organize his life in such a way as to find himself in a situation of the threat of recurrence of such violence. Or the victim of emotional abuse surrounds himself with people who are capable of constantly “raping” her emotionally. Or the victim of physical abuse behaves in a way that provokes a fight. And he does it in the company of people who are easily excitable to physical aggression.
And the choice is always accurate
A circle of people always forms around the victims, organizing repeated trauma for him. How can this be changed?
It's never too late to start worrying
If repeated incidents of violence happen and happen in your life, it is very important to notice that what happens in contact with other people is not normal. It happens that a person tells the story of his life in a monotonous calm voice, while another's blood freezes in his veins and his hair stands on end. And often the sensitivity of the traumatist is restored by other people who will tell him that this is abnormal.
But the consequences of the restored sensitivity are a strong flurry of emotions that will appear here. It is buried pain, anger and anger - and it's important to deal with them. It is normal to experience pain, anger and shame, but it is important to have another person next to whom you can do it. After all, without experiencing feelings, there is a great threat of their re-encapsulation and return to normal.
It is also important to find a way to build contact in a different way, slowly getting rid of the victim role. For example, notice that in contact with a person you have a real desire to say "no" - and move after this reaction. The more you try to do new things in relationships with other people, the more likely you are to go beyond victimization.
The most likely way to get rid of the victim in yourself is through therapy.
Recommended:
How To Stop Being A Victim, What Is Our Parents' Fault And How To Make Children Happy
Source: Labkovsky is sure that the psychological reaction formed from childhood due to the parents' aggression can be completely destroyed and a healthy one can be built. A well-known practicing psychologist from Moscow, Mikhail Labkovsky, can very clearly explain how healthy people differ from neurotics, and why you need to live with pleasure.
The Role Of The Victim In A Domestic Violence Scenario. Victim Behavior. "Call Of The Sacrifice"
Let's agree right away - responsibility for the violence lies with the perpetrator. This is personal responsibility. It cannot be shared with anyone. But in the scenario of domestic violence, both are involved: the "rapist" is the one who commits the violence and the "
How To Stop Helping Everyone? How To Stop Being A Lifeguard?
Tired of saving everyone - how to stop yourself? Are you familiar with this state? How to get rid of it? First, you need to understand what your inner need you are trying to satisfy in this way. There may be several options: The need to feel important and needed.
Each Abuser Has A Victim! Do Abusers Always Pair Up With A Victim?
There is an opinion that the abuser only take the victims as a couple. In this article, I want to address the aspect of victim behavior of women who start a relationship with an abuser. What kind of victim is she? Many people think of it as some kind of junk that constantly cries, whines, gets cuffs, cries again and does nothing about it.
Stop Being A Victim
Living out your sacrifice .. I want to share the most difficult and most important thing that I had to go through in my life. For me, the most difficult thing was to admit to myself: "I am a victim." See this truth, notice it about yourself, stop running away from your own victim.
