Act Out Of Fear Or Out Of Love

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

I write a lot about criticism being destructive. This topic remains inexhaustible. Unfortunately, we are used to living in a society where criticism = love. Therefore, it is very difficult to move away from her.

Yes, we are used to receiving the fruits of being criticized. We tried to be the best version of ourselves, we corrected ourselves, worked on ourselves, corrected mistakes and did many different things. However, at what cost?

Fear of being rejected, not meeting the expectations of the parents (and in the future, their own), of being ridiculed, not accepted, not understood. These fears each time motivated each of us to follow the instructions of the critic.

We are accustomed to the state of what is called "doing from under the stick." Therefore, when we are told something in an amicable way, we do not always understand it and we get used to it for a long time.

The child can be inspired to act with fear or love and interest. Actions, goals, desires, carried out with the full support of the immediate environment, are achieved from love and acceptance. In this case, it is not scary to make a mistake, go astray, start all over again.

Love and acceptance allow a person to create and not feel "not enough …". In such a space, a field is created for activity, community, co-creation. There is no place for squabbles, competition. Envy is not manifested from the position of negative emotion "he is so cool, but at the same time he has a lot of errors, and even his personal life has failed." It motivates us to learn how "this cool and successful person" was able to achieve such results, which I can learn from him.

It is difficult for us to get out of the habit of criticism and replace fear with love, since the additional benefit of criticism is lost - motivation. It seems to us (and this is just our fantasy) that we will lose the "why" for development. And we can lose it because we are not familiar with the state of “making out of love,” from the abundance of creative energy. From the desire to share with others, with the world, your value, abilities, talent.

In love, there is a desire to give. In fear, we always want to take. Accordingly, in the world of criticism, we consume and are stingy with “giving our own,” while in the world of acceptance we give and exchange. And one of the laws of the Universe tells us that the more we give, the more we receive. “According to our deeds, it will be rewarded to us,” say the scriptures.

The choice is always ours. We either take the side of criticism or acceptance. We are able to leave criticism in ourselves and in others. It is enough to tell the interlocutor the following:

“I hear criticism in your words. She is not pleasant to me. At the moment, she is destroying not only me, but you as well. And even if I follow your words, I will do it for fear of being rejected by you."

Talk to the person why they choose this particular way to motivate you. Tell him what really inspires you.

Also remember that criticism has been the foundation of the upbringing of many generations. And in case you remain a misunderstood interlocutor, know that he just wants the best for you. He simply does not know any other way to express his thoughts. He was not taught. In this case, your task is to disconnect criticism from yourself and not be included in it.