Don't Promise When You're Happy

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

Have you ever faced situations when a person himself offered something, promised, and then when you ask him: "So how?" - he begins to somehow evade, mumble or say that yes … until it works, or that he did not promise anything at all, or even begins to avoid you and disappear. And you are perplexed: "How so? He himself suggested, I did not even ask. Why is he now behaving this way?" Or maybe you yourself were in the role of this promising subject?

Or you yourself, for example, promised yourself on the wave of a surge of strength that I would run every morning in the morning. And then, when you promised, it seemed real to you, and then in the morning you wake up to an optimistically set alarm clock at 6 in the morning and realize that you will not run anywhere, and then you feel like a weak-willed loser?

I also remember an indecent anecdote in which a couple has sex, and the woman asks: - Will you buy earrings? The man replies: - Buy it! - Will you buy a fur coat? - Buy! -Will you buy boots? - Ku … In the old ones you get there.

All these stories are from one opera. They are about achieving goals and making plans. We can promise something to others or to ourselves when we are at the maximum resource. And then a new day comes, and you are already in a different state and you understand that somehow yesterday I had something extra. And then you feel like a bad person or a failure. Or you don't feel anything, but just try to forget as soon as possible.

So how do you make feasible plans and make real promises to yourself and others?

First, of course, you need to formulate a goal and preferably write it down.

Do you really need it? How do you feel when you think about implementing your plan? Do you feel inspired? In other words, is there energy in your goal? Lack of energy speaks of false motivation. If there is no energy, then most likely this goal is not yours, but imposed on you. Perhaps this goal was set by your mom or dad, or your school teacher, or public opinion. Check to see if your alarm set this goal. Some people find anxiety to be a good motivator. Anxiety is a really good engine that can drive you far and the wrong way. Really good motivators are meaning, inspiration, excess resources. If the goal is not yours, feel free to discard it, and then you can not read further.

Think about the obstacles to realizing your goal. Formulate and write them down. Try this exercise: Talk to yourself on behalf of each obstacle and try to convince them. This is the most difficult moment, and here, in order to deal with your fears, you may need the help of a psychologist. Sometimes in the process of persuasion, you can understand that your obstacle is telling you good things, that your fears are not groundless. And perhaps you are now really not ready to implement your plan, or you need to make significant adjustments to it, or perhaps it is worth abandoning it altogether. Sometimes an obstacle will simply be very expensive to overcome, you may realize that you simply do not have enough resources for this, or you are not ready to devote so many resources to it. And then the goal is also worth giving up.

The obstacle can also be purely technical. For example, an uncomfortable chair. Sometimes a properly organized space and a conveniently chosen time will solve the problem by itself. You will just want to act.

Before deciding to do something, check your plan in different states. Remember where this article started? When you are slept and rested and you have a lot of energy, and when you are a little bored, and when you are completely at zero, and choose the most realistic option. Before making any promises to others, do the same analysis. Are you exactly ready to do it? Do not be afraid that people will somehow think badly of you, rather, on the contrary. As a rule, we respect people who, before making a promise, think, do not answer for a long time, and may eventually say: "No, you know, I cannot."

Are you comfortable with your plan? If, for example, again, you decide to run in the morning, every morning at 6 am, but you go to bed at 1 am, then your plan can hardly be implemented. Your body and your psyche will resist this. Because rest is more important. Even if you don't go to bed at 1 am, is it really necessary to run every day? And do you really need to run? After all, running for you is a means to an end, not the end itself. Think about what exactly you want to achieve by running and what other ways you can achieve this goal. Choose the method that is most comfortable for you. This means that it will be pleasant for you to do this, you have time for this, you have the strength for this. It may turn out that you cannot allocate, for example, an hour a day for your goal, but you can only 2 hours a week. And maybe not even because you do not have time, but because that is how much time you can really do this without experiencing resistance. If you are not comfortable, then the body and psyche will destroy this that interferes with comfort. Taking care of your condition is always more important than any goal. What's the use if you are exhausted and unhappy achieve the task. When you need to do something important, make sure that you are well rested before doing it. Then it will be easier for you to cope with the task. Don't underestimate the importance of rest. Rest is an important part of achieving your goals. Acting out of a tired state can make you miss your goals and feel like a failure. Do not create conditions for this in advance. Also, set aside time for yourself to recover from your important work. In general, do not make yourself a very tight schedule, do not forget that there should always be time for rest and nothing to do, and remember that this is not laziness at all, but also very important components of success.

Good luck in setting realistic goals and achieving them!