Bad Psychological Habits, Which Are Better To Get Rid Of

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

1. Make excuses.

A very bad habit. By justifying ourselves in response to the violation of our borders, we allow them to break through further. For many, the excuse as protection is stitched almost at the DNA level. Especially among those who came out of a codependent family. Even if it is obvious that the attacker is wrong, that the claim is not substantiated, that someone is simply rude or devalues, but all the same, this terrible habit of justifying suddenly turns on and trips us. Here is a common situation for an example. The husband comes home from work, angry, annoyed, all day in work-worries, and if his work is also connected with people, and if money worries still hang over his head like a sword of Damocles … In general, he comes home, to his safe nest, relaxes, and first of all - what? - it is true, begins to yell and break down at loved ones. Those who are most dear to him. It will catch on to some nonsense and let's merge the negative, as if the earth flew into the heavenly axis. If the wife at this moment begins to react in the same spirit, shouting excuses to him in response, discussing exactly the little thing that he is hooked on, write it’s gone. The evening will be ruined, because he broke the boundaries with his scream, and she, making excuses, allows them to break through further and they fly smoothly at full speed to a dead end.

When you are accused, rightfully or not, you need to immediately suppress in yourself by an effort of will the first reaction to start making excuses like "Yes, but I …", "Yes, however …" And so on. In an everyday situation, when it is obvious that someone close to you just needs to scream, then you just need to let him do it, withstand the shout, exhale, and react somehow neutral, they say, well, but you will eat. Or, if you have a good mood and mental strength, ask kindly: "Has anything happened, my dear?" And call by name, but in a diminutive version of the type Mishenka, Vanyusha, etc. Switch to humor, they say, these enemies have stopped you completely, you are my dear. In general, sympathize, and not at all be afraid to overdo it with diminutive terms. So you turn to his childish part, which, in general, is screaming at this moment. On condition, of course, that you have the strength to do so. If you don't have the strength, then you will have to endure a little military action in your own house, and also rummage around, the main thing, then make it up as soon as possible and ask each other for forgiveness. But do not make excuses in any way.

2. Striving for the ideal.

3. Pursuit.

Rush. Vanity, the desire to get into the last carriage of the train carrying Happiness and Money to the station by all means. Race and spurring each other are almost synonymous with today's life. Even if there is nowhere to run, people still have no time. Time has become the main value. There is no time to lie down, there is no time to sleep and eat, to think, to communicate with loved ones, to just be with oneself. Running, running, no time. They have mastered time management, the day has become almost rubbery, a person has time to put everything in them, but he does not have time to live even one second. Paradox. The faster you run, the faster life flashes before your eyes, and you don't even have time to make out what was in it. It seems like so many things, I took a sip of something tasty, took a quick bite there, licked the top here, but in fact it was okay and did not dine on this life. Everything was throbbing, pulsating … It is not easy to stop running, stop trying to catch something, catch up with someone. It's just not easy to slow down. After all, this pursuit is looking into death, an escape from freedom and from life, a way not to live. As a rule, the basis of the race is toxic shame, it is from which a person tries to escape. But the higher his success, the more momentum he gains, the more huge this figure of shame becomes behind his back. The monster disappears only if you turn around and look at him in the face, as in fairy tales.

Sometimes life turns towards us and slows us down at full speed through some circumstances. And we still grumble, we had so many plans, we are like squirrels in a wheel. And then once, and broke his arm, twisted his leg, lost his job, his beloved left … Usually, however, it is the disease that stops, forces his life scenario to reconsider and at least live the second half with taste, and not like this, upside down, galloping through Europe … Each of us has every right to live in our own rhythm, so whichever one you choose, you are absolutely in your right.

Working with a psychologist helps a lot to slow down and start living at your own harmonious pace. In whatever direction he works, he in any case listens to and contains the very stifling shame, impotence and fear that drives you, that does not allow you to enjoy the fruits of your labor, which devalues your entire past.