Any Age Is Good

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

-I'm afraid of getting old! When I think what awaits me in 20 years I don’t want to live!

With such a request, clients often contact me. At the same time, the age of a woman can be in the range from 20 to 70 years. So, what makes people fearful about the future, what lies behind the fear of aging.

There are many reasons for this fear:

- This is the basic fear of death;

- This is the fear of losing beauty and feminine attractiveness;

- This is the fear of female loneliness;

- This is the fear of being helpless and a burden.

And, of course, all these fears are not unfounded. In our society, alas, old age is associated with weakness, poverty and disease.

Such a state of anxiety for the future makes it difficult to enjoy today, live with full breast, breathe freedom.

So what do you do? Can you get rid of fear?

Of course. But this can be done not at the level of the mind, but at a deeper level of feelings and emotions. After all, if you are afraid of old age and poverty, no matter how much you read beautiful stories about active and wealthy elderly people, this will not help you.

To remove fear, you need to see its true cause.

One day a woman of about forty came to see me, who was terribly afraid that she would be paralyzed in her old age and that all her relatives would turn away from her, and she would lie there, no one needed, unable to change her diaper.

At the same time, she could not explain her fear, there were no cases of such diseases in her family, and she had never seen paralyzed people in her life. Where did this fear come from in her soul?

After several sessions, she saw a picture.

A little girl stands close to her mother and looks with horror at an unfamiliar apartment. The smell of old age, like a stream, hits her nose from the corridor. Some terrible people are walking around the apartment and looking for something. From the room other people in white robes carry the creature out on a stretcher. She cannot understand whether it is a person or not, and only white matted hair suggests that this is probably a woman. The woman's face is twisted with pain and suffering, her body from which the sheet falls, all in ulcers and sores. And some kind of dirt. No, it's not dirt, it's poop. A girl with a loud cry runs up the stairs. The client recognizes herself in this little frightened girl. On the same day, she calls her mother, and asks where such memories come from? And her mother told her that it was an old woman from their entrance who lay without help for a week, and only when the neighbors sounded the alarm and called the police, she was taken to the hospital, where she died three days later. And the girl's mother was invited to the apartment as an attesting witness, and she, not expecting such a picture, took her little 2-year-old daughter with her.

This episode became a real trauma for the child, but consciousness drove him out of memory, replacing the memories with the fear of old age and weakness.

And only after the true reason was revealed, the fear gradually began to go away, giving way to confidence in the future and in their loved ones. After all, fear has ceased to be irrational.

But sometimes fears are not so deep and traumatic. A woman is afraid of losing what she has today: youth and beauty, which brings her confidence in her abilities; activity and mobility, which makes her life bright and eventful. People are afraid not to experience the feelings that brought them happiness. This is the joy of motherhood, the very tactile sensations when you take a pleasantly smelling baby in your arms. It is also a feeling of closeness with a loved one in moments of the highest pleasure.

Yes, indeed, something goes away irrevocably, but new, equally bright and happy moments come in its place. Life is good in all its forms. And only by accepting it all, accepting himself in it and accepting his experience, a person can become truly happy.

How can this be done?

Yoga and other meditative practices can be a great way to find and accept yourself.

Being creative: painting, sculpture also has an amazing therapeutic effect and helps to accept oneself in oneself.

And of course, working with a psychologist, if your fears prevent you from living and enjoying life, this is a reason to turn to a psychologist and gain freedom and self-confidence.